Lost Peasant

F**K YOU

2010-10-30T03:17:00.002+11:00

Kuroshitsuji 2 <3 ... this is more to say I NEVER ENDED UP COSPLAYING D:

Long time no see? I haven't died... sorry for those that got really excited. I've just been reaaally really lazy. The kind where you sit at home, don't go to uni, but still manages to sleep at 3am and wake up tired the next morning. Yeah you would know ALL about it.

The hell yeah? What the crap do I use my time to do? Good question... there's currently a uni degree associated with that, I really would like to know as well ~

In all other news... I really like Cee Lo Green's new song... hence the blog title. I'm not always that crude. So... let's take a trip down the memory lane? Or just I just feel like photo spamming because someone claims I never remember the things we do. ~~

Toot toot... this is not a Ferrari but it gets me from A to B ... plus it's not even mine

In no particular chronological order... I spent around 5% of time this year hanging around the interior of this dashing silver car... next to yet another dashing silver car.

Last exciting time this was used was to go to the beach in which the other J made sand castles minecraft style. (Don't get me started on Minecraft).

It was fun... even the part where he pretended to be a subwoofer :3

My pet rock that lives in my pencil case

Nothing special here... just one of the better photos my iPhone took during uni. I just realised I am very pink this year. Maybe I am turning into more of a girl. That comment makes no sense what so ever.

Let's just say I'm really a bro at heart. ~

WAKA WAKA WAKA WAKA WAKA

I love uni desks... I spent so much of my "study" time staring at them ~ out the window ~ writing letters ~ playing ds ~ playing psp ~ listening to my iPod ~ sleeping ~ doodling ~ anything but studying

= - =

One of the bigger regrets of my life ... buying him that game

Advance Wars. See that engrossed look on his face. He NEVER concentrates that hard...except maybe when he's trying to find GOGARY and stab him in the face to steal his tag.

But ahem. Advance Wars + DS = Jono will be unavailable for the next 48 hours, he's too busy having a date with his fingers. Not that kind... the button mashing kind.

He's looking for hax btw~

This negro has stolen a GHD

Nah not really.. I just feel the need to put this here because I turned around one night and found Pudding (yes I habitually name my pets after food, perhaps I have hidden tendencies of wanting to consume them. CHYEEEAH BOI KITTEH RICE?)

But yeah, it's one of those rare moments when I turned around and found him poking out from underneath my couch with the most innocent but evil look on his face. HAD to take a picture because he looked like he's vanishing into the darkness.

So evil :3

A fun doodoo made from around $10 worth of stuff

This pictures goes with this ... Where I accidentally put boiling hot melted chocolate into my mouth after making this fondue thing. I've been craving for ages and ages and after nagging Jono for around the 100th time he finally gave in and bought the stuff.

It was actually a lot of fun and deserves a post of it's own. But I'm a tool... a lazy one at that... so YOU CAN HAVE ONE PICTOR DEDICATED TO YOU.

I shall one day... revisit with a post just about all the random food we made and ingested.

The making of tuxedo duck painted by a duckfaced duck in a duck duck T-shirt

It has been proven that Jono isn't the most artistic person in the hood. Although you may think that he's diligently painting away, he's really just staring into the duck's bum because I told him there's money in there.

LOL JK~

He's actually painting the ducks' feet. :3 Ducky knows how to use paintbrushes well and has a lot of patience... it was a lot of fun making this baby. Turned him from a boring terracotta duck into ALIEN TUXEDO DUCK.

He's only an alien because we changed our mind from painting a realistic wild duck to a tuxedo duck the last minute... I think that was my fault. :P

He needs antennas ~~~

Glazed duck?

Hairspray magic. You'd think he came out of kiln. :D

Masochistic Oranges... (:

Stolen from the T shirt site which I totally forgot the name of, but this is a tribute to the Pillow Fight hoodie I bought there along with Jono's many random T shirts.

Ok seriously... How did I end up with this?

I have no idea... but something tells me that on average, he takes one picture of me sleeping without me knowing a month. When I find out about them... it reminds me of the photographer camping in the woods to take pictors creepypasta.

Also remember the night when I ended up reading creepypasta til 3am and someone trying to scare me. THEN WE PLAYED EXMORTIS. LOL... it was so shit we both wasted 30 mins of our lives.

I think with interest, it'd become around 45 mins now. :/

Y U NO....

Meme generator? Need I say more?

JONO!

Y U NO NICE TO MEH?!

...nah jk~ you are awesome <3 11 is a magic number~

When you are on a map of snipers... in a tank ~~~

Once upon a time in Bad Company 2... Konstrike found a tank and xChii decided to sit in the tank and do some duck hunting.

Needless to say it was bloody fun ~~~ >:D

Until Kon told Chii that Chii can't survive on BC without him.

Snipe whore~

Ok maybe the KDR isn't epic but still... I GOT THE ACE PIN~~ chyeeeeeeeeeah boi. Then Kon told me that I only got it because I am a camping SOB.

To which I say... oh well~ at least I wasn't spawn killing ^^

The UNI DESK TOLD ME TO!

It's not what you think....


What's keeping me from studying...

9 days to go... sigh ): hate exams

Dear Jono,

You are infinitely amazing,

I love you so much

Janice

Usual

2010-08-22T21:04:00.032+10:00

Pet rock :3

It's been ... a while. Oddly enough I lost the urge to write for an extended duration of time. Either way, it's now nearly the end of August. And I'm not even sure if I remember all that's happened all this time.

Life goes up and down and now it's returned to a normal rhythm of going to uni every week and working on the weekends. Somehow I find the colours in that petrock picture really vibrant... congrats to me for a random 1 second shot that turned out nicely.

If I were to think about it, a lot of things turned out nicely thus far and I'd be an ungrateful moron to deny it. Aside from my little emo moment last night which got fixed nicely by your voice. I really like your voice for some reason... is that weird? I sound like a stalker >.>

Pet Jono book :3

Although half of those pictures aren't mine... curtsy to Facebook and some low level stalking -coughliescough- Ultimately what had come out of these 8 months of my life is learning, learning and more learning.

Accepting that you can't always be right but as long as you grow from it, they'll accept you and still love you.

I don't know if I had grown up much... but sparing the mushy ...mushii... mushi... zmush?... lovey-dovey doting I wouldn't have been able to do it without you.

Pause

2010-08-03T15:31:00.003+10:00

This chapter of my life is on hold until further notice.

Stalk somewhere else.

Contemplating

2010-07-19T10:52:00.001+10:00

We all do this from time to time. 3:

I realised I haven't been writing down much of my thoughts lately, and that has the implication that I'll forget it all. And much of that has already happened...then again if I have already forgotten I wouldn't even know this.

A lot of things in life has changed in the last... let's just give a logical time span of six months. I haven't really met any new people nor have I gotten closer to anyone. Life's just bobbing along, working, trying to rake in moolah and wondering what I am going to do about the rest of my life.

Uni is about to start next week, and I can't really conclude what I have learnt anything supremely substantial during the quiet period of time that I had during my deferral.

One thing for certain tho, I would have definitely failed if I didn't defer. A lot has happened... I've also been a lot of things during that time, ranging from a liar, a tease, a shit stirrer, a girl on probation, an emo, a "grandma", a dream, a reality, an ex-commerce student, a fx counter girl, a lost person, a sit-up doer, a fatty, a moron, an artist, a writer, a naive person, a troll and eventually getting there one day, a decent girlfriend.

That would be a good goal to start with.

Perhaps it's relief, but I'm finally settling in with life again. Although that is disregarding the blatant rule breaking and being a disobedient child at home, I'm slowly finding a balance.

It's a bit of a shame that it took this long to work things out, but I am content in the equilibrium that I am in now. Knowing what I should be doing rather than doing what I thoughtlessly do.

I think a lot, just not about the right things. It's just a destructive lesson to learn how much my actions can affect someone else.

I did take a long time to put appropriate emphasis on what we have. It is very awesome and it is something I would cherish indefinitely. Life is very much not a fairytale and we are long overdue in our honeymoon period. But you are a reality that I find comfort in.

In what we do, in how we act and in all the things you have taught me. I sincerely do want to be a better person for the both of us.

It's odd I started rambling on about general things. Then it all ends up back on talking about a person. I hate quoting mushy love quotes because they are all over someone else's blog.

But there is one particular one that is floating around in my head right now because it's coincidentally appropriate...

"To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world" - RUSSIAN REVERSAL!

It's so cheesy. But you are in fact my world at the moment... if not an entire universe.

Gift from Kami-sama

2010-06-16T05:22:00.003+10:00

You are probably busy studying for your exam. And by the time you even unearth this, it'd be over. Of course, you won't even have internet for the next few days. Why am I even waffling about all this?

I'm glad I got to know you. Truly you have been the best thing that happened to me. It'd also odd that I have run out of words to express myself so early. But in all honesty, I'm so relieved that things turned out the way they did and I had chosen you.

I don't regret that decision. I am so content right now I feel like rolling around on the ground, despite the silliness of it all. My only regret is that it took so long for us to reach this equilibrium... that and it took me so long to see him for what he is; and for me to overcome my reliance.

You are indeed a gift, and the most valued entity in my life. I'm just that lucky to have you all to myself. >:3

I really can't wait til exams are over so we can do all those things we said we'd do. Make more pictors, create our achievements list, go driving, scrapbook, lie around and fall asleep, complete our pokedex, BC2 til they all fear the pikaman duo, sell ties, draw pictors, write stories, cook dinner, get drunk and slice eggs...

It'd hard to describe that kind of blissful contentment I feel around you. The sense of comfort and the little bubble of happiness. All I can say is no one else has made me feel that naturally euphoric.

SO... TEH WINRAR IS YOU.

I love you ever so much and thank you for being an infinitely wonderful boyfriend <3

a. h o l e

2010-05-16T10:55:00.013+10:00

I'm slowly becoming convinced that working as a FX counter girl is turning me into the biggest asshole in the world. Although I must say, after working for roughly three short months, I learnt a lot, learnt to resent a lot and just generally facepalmed a lot.

Here are some examples of what reaaaaally tick me off.

1. People that scrunch their money.

Ok you guys are more of an asshole than me. Why the hell would you do such a thing? There's nothing more annoying than trying to count money out when all the notes want to do is curl into a giant pretzel-like orgy. I hate you people with a passion, ffs buy a wallet or something. ):

2. People that LOVES going through this particular dialogue with me.

A.k.a Maths Noobs.

Nib: Uhh... I'd like to buy some Euros. What's the rate today?

Me: The rate today is .6867 for you to buy sir.

Nib: So if I give you AUD 100 how much Euros would I get?

Me: ... -facepalm-

Even a primary school kid, can very safely assume, 100 x 0.6867 = 68.67 Why the hell do you have to ask?

A slight variation for the ones that are "tech-smart"

Techie: What's the rate for USD?

Me: 0.8548 for you to buy.

Techie: -whips out an iphone-

Me: ... -watches-

After about 10 mins. . .

Techie: so how much would I get for AUD 100? 200? 500? 800?

What the hell is the iPhone for then? :/ so duma.

3. Super stupid questions.

Another Noob: You know Australian currency has dollars and cents yeah?

Me: yes...

AN: Do Euros have cents?

Me: -head desk-

AND.

Noob: Do you exchange money here?

Me: obviously not. 3:

4. Moneygrams.

Ring ding ding ding ding ~ what's the rate to India today? How much if I send 200? Why the fee so much? Ok I send 50 only? Where's the pen? Where's the form? Oh I need the ID? Where can they receive the money? How come the rate's so little? Give me better rate? ... and then -plasters forehead against the glass-

SIGH.

5. People who assume they have a lot of money.

Woman: I have $1500 dollars I want to exchange into USD. -looks around- Is this place secure? -goes and shuts the door-
Me: .... OTL -raises eyebrows-

6. General weirdos.

Random Indian guy: are you 17? Are you Viet? Are you Korean? Will you marry me for $800/month?
Me: duma. -looks at his moneygram ($50 to India) Really now? You can afford me?

Yes... my job. It's just THAT exciting~

Silence

2010-05-16T03:41:00.004+10:00

It feels odd to be who you are but at the same time not feeling like what you are. It's like wearing a crown that's too big for you head and often it falls down. Obscuring your vision and other senses, slowly becoming a nuisance.

Either the crown has to shrink or the head has to grow... which is often a dilemma, made worse by silence and all the little syllables left out of a sentence.

It feels wrong that I am filling in the blanks in my head. How do I even know if it's true? I don't think I have that sense of righteousness to assume what is not said.

Who the fuck do I think I am?

- the monarch of pickles.

There's enough vinegar in my life to go pickle ten jars of cucumbers.

I've run out of time to be eloquent, there simply isn't enough time to deal with all this. I'll just continue with the pickle production in the mean time.

Yes.

It's vague.

G r a v i t y

2010-04-29T01:26:00.001+10:00

There was meant to be something meaningful here... but I kinda forgot. So here comes a lousy shot of trying for a remake.

...

GG no remakes. ):

Guess I could try and figure out what I meant when I post a title called 'gravity'. Some sort of force? It's rather bizarre to try and blog about a day that you don't have much of a recollection of. 29th of April.

WHAT THE HELL DID I DO? I think my memory is slipping pretty bad lately. 3:

Might put this one on hold...

Lacuna.

2010-04-25T01:18:00.003+10:00

There's been...

2010-04-13T00:44:00.002+10:00

IT'S SO CUTE!

... a large portion of time spent sleeping, sadly more than the amount of time we spent holding hands. Other silvers of time are spent wisely on talking, connecting and trolling. Naturally we take some of the trolling too far, but it ok... that's how we learn.

We shared a history that went and become a herstory and finally it came back and now it's mystory because it's my blog, although really it should be ourstory because we are finally together. (I'm definitely spamming the italics)

It definitely hasn't been easy and one shouldn't expect it to. Nothing in life ever works out like a fairytale romance without all the painful retaking of each scene. Although to work out our differences and learn to understand each other was by far the most rewarding thing.

I'm so happy to move on from yesterday. Even though we had another weird discussion about something awkwardly arbitrary, I feel closer to you. I'm delighted that you are you, even if neither of us started off with a clean slate, I'm still lucky that I'm in love you with and no one else.

It's comforting to know that we are finally slipping into the right rhythm in order to live harmoniously. I don't ever want to let go of you, even if life troubles keep coming up. We'll just run through them together because if we can be together, nothing else is impossible. :)

..There's a place that you touched that makes me want to be with you forever.

~ My heart. :3 what were you thinking?

You obviously can't read.

2010-04-02T03:21:00.002+11:00

What I wanted to say yesterday, was that somehow you've become the most charming thing in my life... Something I want to spend time with constantly, which at times gives birth to irrational feelings when not satisfied.

I am not unhappy. I do not want to break up. What makes me unhappy and sad is the fact you bring that up so easily and throw the notion around like fruit.

I do not want to let go and be detached again, walking around like strangers that just met. I am in love with you and I want to be with you. Even though it might be a bit late and the damage already done... I want you to know I feel very connected to you. To deny that attachment is to deny our existence.

You may question this a thousand times, then do it. It is your nature anyway. I just ask that you don't force me into a corner to get me to speak and then joke when I finally want to talk. That hurts more than anything else.

If it isn't clear enough, I want to be with you because you are the sole existence in my life that can make me experience such vivid emotions. Be it pain or just the euphoria of being near you. I don't want to give any of that up...

Unholy unhealthy unanananananana

2010-04-01T04:55:00.003+11:00

I feel mildly pathetic, having to explain myself with another wall of text. It would seem when I need it the most, my vocal chords would malfunction and I can't quite get the right words out or keep the lacing of annoyance away from my tone.

No doubt I crossed another invisible line, and pushed more than a few buttons. You'd say I'm a despicable spoilt brat not used to being opposed in what I desire. But that is life, if I needed someone to tend to my every need, then I might as well have bonded to a servant.

It's just a mild case of addiction. A bit too much freedom on my behalf and countless thoughts of you that seems to slip into the empty bubbles of time where studies used to be. I don't even understand this bizarre urge I get to seek your company constantly.

I don't want to be so obsessive and feel a strange void when you aren't around. It'd be explainable when the void kicks in after a few days of no contact, but it's just odd for it to be there the very next day, or even after a few hours.

It's ever so confusing and I digress it's messing with my thoughts and judgement, effectively removing all semblances of logical thoughts and actions or traces of empathy. I feel so bland again 3:

...Not because I think you don't love me, but probably because I hate what I do but find it hard to control my actions. I wonder what I mean to you sometimes, since I'm like some random asteroid that just landed chaotically into your life. Under all the countless teasing and banter... is that love?

Are you like me and feel the need to dress up ever positive statement you want to make? Do you feel naked when you just come out and say it?

I feel so weird... sitting here looking at msn, holding onto the hope that you'd reply before I sleep again, even though clearly I let it all go on the phone. You waited and it's my bad for making that wait not worthwhile.

It's so confusing for me... emotions. And now it's melting into a puddle of possessive sentiments, which I greatly dislike. ): ...is usually leads to you saying "whatever" a lot.

I hate "whatever"s and try not to say it as a single worded reply these days. Someone in the past told me that when I used to "whatever" a lot it felt like I didn't care. It's very true... it does feel like that.

When you stop caring... what else is there left for me?

Letter letter letter.. where art thou?

Day 6.

2010-03-16T03:20:00.003+11:00

Pic totally unrelated, but omggggggg I want that panda T^T

It's odd how things can be so different in just 24 hours. Except the insomnia, that probably won't be changing for a while. Still, at least I have a reason to wake up in the morning. To keep living and to keep reading your words.

It feels so alive again. Like watching something smoldering into a pile of ashes and then having life springing through the grey. It's so odd to describ these feelings...like simple words aren't enough.

These are the longest seven days of my life. But not much matters now because I know how you feel. I feel so appeased... and no longer thorny like a hedgehog.

I can't do much cept give tribute to all those times you said I love you after my random episodes of brattiness. Or always being the first person to say good morning and the last to say goodnight. There's no ninja in this post.

I love you for everything that you are and everything that you represent to me. For you I'm willing to believe in this "forever"... and if it's just a dream.

Don't ever let me wake up again.

Dream.txt

2010-03-11T03:15:00.005+11:00

Clearly. She's infected. -quarantine- and no.
That is NOT a pokemon.
"This is the moment I've always waited for. So, why is my heart so sore...?" - A.C

If it wasn't so why does it connect so well? I wish I had never thought of anything. I'm tired of having those kinds of thoughts. I still wonder if I am walking in your shadow sometimes. However much or however little you were, I don't know why I feel like I am being compared to you.

Whatever.

Thank god I don't know what she's saying. Lyrics often mean too much for their own good. Reaching out to people when they are unsuspecting. Getting in their heads with haunting melodies. When you start relating to them, understanding the feelings that the singer has long left behind, you make yourself vulnerable.

When you have literally everything in life, you shouldn't have the right to complain. But then that's not having everything is it? I just want these feelings to go away.

I do NOT have paws

2010-02-28T15:16:00.006+11:00

Epic late picture...

Poetry poetry poetry~ something artistic and deserving to be compared to you. But I have none... cept my own jumble of clumsy words. I think... I believe... I wish... I guess. Never certain.

OK serious post begins here ..not really.

I am not a nice person. I have bad habits. Lots of them. I'm also obnoxiously self centred. See, talking about myself all this time already. Other stuff ranges from not cleaning up after myself to being absolutely vague about everything I say. Perhaps I like escaping responsibility.

But you called it the Trench Theorem. I never want to be the first to come out of safety. I never wanted to be sure of anything until the other person gives me the upper hand by telling they are sure. Then I have to go and be an epic troll and question everything they say for weeks.

Lvl. 73 Troll.

But then. I can also be what you want. I can be your dreams, your happiness and your future. I am the strangest person you've ever met. I do eccentric stuff that is thoughtless and abnormal. I am weird. And that's why you like me.

I am happy when I am with you because you can see past all those strange things and still find appreciation in me. Which is why I want to be certain with you, I want you to know that I want to be with you and you only.You make me smile like no other person can.

It feels natural that I want to see you often and feel really elated when I do. It feels familiar when you have your arms around me, hugging me. Even though I buckle under pressure easily, your voice is always soothing me with reason. You are right.

We did wait very long for this to happen, I won't ever let go of your hand, not when you smile at me all the time with sincerity. I will not let myself forget each time you tell me you love me, care for me, cherish me or think I'm the most epic and at the same time illegal but not illegal thing in your life.

There's been a great distance between the time when we were both emos lamenting about our lives to each other, to all the sparse moments we've had to connect. Now that I can finally stay on the same step of life with you, I don't want to be anywhere else. ... Like hell I'd want to leave when I'm sitting in the throne of your life. [:<

...Besides, we still haven't finished unlocking all the achievements together either.

:D

FAILGASMS~ 2.

Fly fly away

2010-02-21T15:13:00.003+11:00

This tribute is neither for you or me...

I know what you have been doing.
*

These words here are no longer for you. It is for whoever still finds an interest in me. I won't let this blog die because for me it is still a beautiful place full of memories. But I also want them to find the truth behind everything.

You have been lying to me when you say that you have told people everything. You never told people anything. All you have done is turn yourself into a victim, and me into the demon in your life that drive you towards your own demise. Let me say this clearly now with all honesty and clarity.

You are your own demise. You smile away all help then go back to digging your own grave. I no longer care what sort of stories you like feeding to whoever listens. The point is, I am me. I know what I have done and what I haven't done. There is a part of me that remains innocent out of all this despite all the wrongs I have inccured and that is I didn't leave you straight for another person.

I left you because you didn't show me the care and consideration I needed in a healthy relationship. You objectified me and lied to me. Claiming you love me when all you wanted was to feed your own carnal pleasure. You burnt with jealousy whenever I get close to someone of the opposite gender. You planted all your emotions on me hoping I'd carry you through life. I am not your babysitter.

You cared for me. But only in a simplistic way. Playing games, keeping me company. You never cared enough to fix what was driving us apart. The misunderstanding, the increasing miscommunication and the fact I wasn't happy with you. All you wanted me to do was change but you didn't help me change. There was no reward for changing since you just wanted more.

You suffocated me. And that is the reason why I left. I couldn't see a future with you.

If you can't be honest with yourself to tell your story with straight facts then I have misjudged you even more. I don't feel the need to go correct whatever you have said now. I'm moving on from it. You can infect whoever else you want with your animosity.

It is no longer my problem. I know there are people that know the truth behind everything. As long as there is that knowledge I'm happy. I do not see the need to contact you either. Your "love" only extended as far as surface infatuation and possession, and now it's like a dark revenge.

So please, don't keep selling your two face shit to everyone and then come back to me and try to be my friend. I hate that immensely. Please do remember that I am not as lonely as you think I am. I joined your life so I can share it with you. Even if you turn your whole world against me.I still have my own world to return to.

Wordlessly

2010-02-13T13:03:00.003+11:00

There is so much I want to say, so much I need to say but I just can't find the right words and no sound comes out. Life's so confusing sometimes...things fluctuating up and down.

Yesterday was like taking another step towards something I don't think about. A 2 in front of my age. 2 candles on a cake. Awkwardly I survived 2 decades without much of a scratch on the surface.

I don't know if i know any better... but all I know was I was extremely happy. :3 Tired but happy. Kicking myself for dud decisions but happy.

Happy that you are one of the better choices in my life.
Happy that I live with a house of people that loves me.

Love.

It's everywhere.

As for me, I love you all. But...
I love Jono the most.
... =]

:D

2010-02-02T00:59:00.003+11:00

I can has employment~~~~ :3

It was 3 goldfishes full...

2010-01-26T00:35:00.003+11:00

I don't think I'll have the courage to come back if I leave this time...

So we can all be cryptic and hide our thoughts and feelings behind well crafted words. Maybe I should just be blatantly honest. There is so much on my mind... so much that I decided it'd just be best if I willingly went numb so I won't have to feel.

If I feel again, I'll be human. And humans like to cry and talk about feelings, which is deep and infectious. When you care about someone enough to share their feelings their words echo around your head and make you quiver as you grasp their sentiments.

I can't stop listening to this song or think about much I can compare myself to a Persocon right now. It's so hollow and it bounces around my head. The chords reminding of the emptiness that people experience as they search endlessly for "that someone just for them". ...then find it and lose it.

I dislike her for turning you into this. I dislike her tears which have such a dramatic effect on you. I dislike her sensitivity which brings about those tears. I dislike her strange antics and sentiments which leads to that sensitivity. I don't hate her, but I am not fond of her at all. Her stubbornness peeves me off and her ability to spread that infectious mix of negativity.

If I am cold... please don't hate me. I just don't think I want to go through that again. Not with feelings attached to it, because if I am to lose or self disqualify myself. I might never want to see the world again. Maybe when you can sort things out or separate that weird bond you share with her that makes you cringe when she cringes first... then you can try and melt the snow.

Til then... I'll probably just let these feelings sleep under the surface.

Ok I lied :D

2010-01-08T18:39:00.002+11:00

Except for this blog, because it's too epic for death :3

And so despite that previous entry that declares this blog officially meeting it's unepic end, I decided I'd be a jerk and revoke it. I'm a girl, girls change their minds like Melbourne changes its weather, so sue me.

I guess I learned a lot in the past few days. Like my cat now likes to be bathed and my high school friends enjoy Brazilian waxing and highly recommends it. AHEM~

Either way, the important stuff. Changes.

People don't just change in the blink of an eye. Something has to happen in their life before they can undergo that exciting stage of metamorphosis. It could be traumatic, distressing, excruciating, painful or be at the other extreme where it brings about an euphorically orgasmic sense of happiness. Either way... people change because there's a reason to.

Over the last few days, I am sure you and I both came to a common view point on things. We've both grown from this experience. I can say that now because we are still talking to each other like before. But something is different.

There is a comfortable undercurrent of freedom in it. We do things we like with each other because we both share that pleasure and enjoyment, not because of the obligation of what we are. I have to say it's refreshingly pleasant.

And it is also because of this change, I start to wonder about my attitude towards relationships. Why are people together anyway? The difference between a boyfriend and a friend is merely your exclusive rights to touch and do intimate stuff with them. And probably other self proclaimed entitlements to know every detail of their private life down to what they eat for dinner and how much.

I can't deny that I wasn't overly obsessed like that, but the real reason for it is quite simple. I'm merely scared of loneliness. Blandly, what I probably wanted as a 24 hour friend... someone who is there constantly to give me the company I need. It's probably the ultimate fear for most people when their best friend gets a significant other, and your type of "significant other" suddenly slips a ring in the ladder to their heart.

Suddenly you weren't the partner that stood next to them in everything they do, but instead this other creature that they met at a club or something. If you don't share the same gender as your friend, you'd probably start comparing every asset you have to their new found source of amusement. Tough~ since you don't make out with them you can't capture their attention again because that girl "rightfully" has their attention.

Which in essence is complete bullshit. You just have to learn to share~

It's odd when you start dating your friends for that kind of exclusive ownership. Sometimes I really wonder if that's what I do. I sure hope not, but at the same time, when I think about it it, it's probably similar because I don't believe I am really mentally ready to give myself fully to someone.

I'm just content being friends, since that creepy ownership thing goes both ways. :/

Yeah I've been thinking too much... might refine this thing later.

...

... in the mean time~

If anyone can offer to do my hair like that girl, I'd very happily sell my soul to you, body not included, just soul.

I love you all... really. :3

Possibly the last post

2010-01-05T17:59:00.004+11:00

This is for you...

I wouldn't be writing here anymore, if anything it is a vault of memories that I may some day revisit. Everything's start and now the ending of it all.

I'm tired, half sleep deprived, cramping and feeling a bit nauseous, so excuse my lack of flare in this piece.

As an old saying goes... There's no use crying over spilled milk. It's so cliched I want to hit myself with my keyboard, but I'll refrain since that might hurt. :/

There really isn't much you can do to salvage a situation like that. The moment the container tips over, the liquid is sprayed all over the place. It'd be a futile pursuit to try and recover it all when some are on the walls and other are running through the cracks on the floors.

What's the eventual solution? You would probably sigh and go buy a another bottle of milk and be more careful next time. Hopefully you won't attempt the undignified actions of licking the milk off the ground. That tends to be unhealthy since you don't know what kinds of bacteria likes to breed between the floor cracks...or the fact that dust tends to make the milk feel like it has grown and extra layer of fur. ... Unsavoury.

I wouldn't deny the fact that we had a good time together,there were some beautiful moments and the way you entered into my life was almost like a miracle. Everything changed back then and suddenly I wanted to live again, and be the best person possible for you. Somehow we doggedly made it through VCE, and well, it's a traumatic experience for all those that goes through....

I hope I didn't mess it up for you too much. All that time you spent texting instead of studying. >.>

I don't think I'll forget any of this, even if I face you now with a cold, emotionless wall of logic. I guess it's my way of protecting myself? Things were treading downhill for us... and in the end, it was hard for me to differentiate between my own inability to keep believing your words and the possibility of you lying. It may not seem like a lot, but every time I accepted an invitation to your house had been a chance for you to prove to me that you weren't lying.

I hate lying more than anything. I'd rather you didn't tell me whatever truth it is you are trying to conceal than paint over the top of it with a lie. If you can't face me with complete honesty then what can we do together? People can't move forward if they don't believe a person will catch them when they fall. Either way I am not here to start a drama where we catapult accusations at each other. I haven't been trying that from the start. I really wished we could have worked it out between the two of us.

But then I realised that people deal with things very differently, and not everyone can be a cold hard bitch like me where they detach at will and just face everything like they weren't part of it. Although I must say that even though I feel responsible for the way you feel, I don't feel as accountable for the methods in which you deal with your grief and what sort of damage you are doing to your body. That is something someone with your knowledge of the body should very well be aware of and it is your choice what you subject your system to. I will not be some angelic saviour to your new found habits.

That is something I can't do because I feel so desensitised to everything. The choices that I am making are all just part of my basic instincts now. They've changed as things have progressed between us. At first I wondered if I should be making decisions based on my fondness for people, but lately I started to doubt that as a judging agent. These days, I realised I made my choice in whoever brought me more happiness.

I probably won't see those magic moments people claim they have in relationships where they have a deep connection emotionally and they can guess how each other feels. I stopped believing that now. I've also stopped believing that there will be a perfect person for me in this world. Nothing is ever perfect, it's what we endeavour towards that counts.

I'll be content as long as I am still happy whether that'd be holding hands with another person or walking alone. There's no use turning back or saying things that marks yourself as a monster. It's the past. That can't be changed, it's the future that matters.

I know it sounds like a stupid concept and at times inconsiderate, but for me, it's a cure. If I keep worrying about other people's happiness and not my own, I'll never be satisfied as a person. And if I can't even love myself enough to let myself be happy, who on earth would bother with an emo? What I need isn't a saviour to messiah my life, what I need is someone that can understand me and share my life.

I hope you can understand that. Not nodding and saying you do just to make me smile, but really understand me, with your mind and soul.

OHHHHH~ Izzy's Aunty is a big fat bitch...

2009-11-29T03:34:00.005+11:00

:D great success!

And so at times, life thinks to itself that it'd be hilarious if it drops shit in your life. In this particular day, that said feaces came in the form of my aunty... who I don't even talk to or live with.

The woman came into my room, unprovoked. Then in a fit of frothing rage that probably spawned in a severe case of ego in the anus causing painstaking hemorrhoids that are the size of square shaped watermelons... started to criticise everything I do.

Apparently in her little bubble of a mind, if I play games, it qualifies as the automatic failure of life. She obviously failed to notice her total lack of social life or etiquette (such as not spewing verbal diarrhea as soon as she goes to her sister's house) also fits the perfect description of a monumental failure to society.

In short, her brilliant demonstration in that she cares about her extended family by irrelevantly sticking her nose in other people's business and farting out of her mouth rates her as the top shit aunty of the year. Go figure. I still have no respect for you by the way. =)

In short. Izzy will still squeak when poked at and play games. Because she does things her own way... and she will succeed in her own way. Therefore, she does not require comments from some female with her ego shoved so far up her ass, that she can't take anything but compliments with 3 cubes of sugar in telling her what's right in life.

I may seek approval, but I don't need approval to live.

... that and I'm ranked 1337 in maple~

And yes, this entry is severely rude and disrespectful to my elders. But I have no respect for her at the start, so it doesn't really matter. I encourage her to find this page. AUDRY WU. I hope you look up your own name in google and find this.

I even encourage you to come storming into my house and curse my liver, because there is so much more I can say to you which I have no said, because I respect the peace in my family.

IN short. DU MA :D

OH god... double post D:

2009-11-08T18:57:00.004+11:00

I was looking through my phone and realised I haven't really been taking pictures since I wag uni so much. However... I do realised I had some rather... interesting shots from my every shitty phone camera. I really need to invest in something better D:

LET THE DOUBLE POST BEGIN.

This epically amazing creature of vanity, was very much trying to pop a pimple on his face while using the shiny side of his ipod as a mirror. Fk. Human vanity is so ... embarrassing.

I walked into my bathroom one day.. looked at the sink ... and found a cleaver. o___o

The new masterpiece of the year currently exhibited at the Vic Galleries. It is a very whimsical piece of artwork that makes use of the malleable nature of cheap Homebrand plastic forms. The jarring nature of design demonstrates many protruding handles. The focal point of the piece is the core of the melding, which all began with one single fork then branching off like a tree it blossomed into this eccentric white form. ... ignore the matchs in the corner.

I walked into my bathroom today.. looked at the sink ... and found my cat trying to hide from the heat. Pube cat <3

I CAN EXPLAIN...

shun says:
*i like
*little girls

And well.. life is beautiful. =)

.
..
...

taadaa

Happens at least once in any male's life...when they want support. :3

Pube cats ...

2009-11-08T18:34:00.003+11:00

shun says:
*lol
*but hes ok
*right
*maybe you need to give him a trim
*no over heating
*lol

J a n i c e || =^o____o^= says:
*LOL
*tro, ,y cat
*that reads to
*habuce says: trim my cat?
*what do you think he is? a walking bush of pubes?

shun says:
*lol
*pube cat

It is official that my cat is now a walking bush of pubes. Thank you for all your loving support and all those that wanted to eat him in the past. =coughkatieandyewfaicough=

I hope you get pubes stuck in your mouth. :D

IF ONLY...

2009-11-07T20:09:00.002+11:00

Apologies for the lack of image, but I just can't seem to find what I want on Google. Fail google is fail. But when you look up the words "Hand" and "Map" in random orders and combination, not very many intriguing images seem to pop up.

This is a debt I shall somehow repay later. If only I had photoshop... if only.

¬.¬"
pretend it's an image.

But we can if only about a lot of things and none of those "if only"s really matters now. By the time you get to "if only" it's usually too late. I mean if you were early, you'd usually be like "AHA! I'm prepared" or in some rare cases when you are premature you'd be like "oh f*ck" but that's another story that might usually end up in "if only" something something billboard on the way to the city... cough. - a cookie to anyone who gets which billboard I am referencing to.

My "if only" is the typical why-didn't-I-study-harder-"if only". That usually leads inspirational speeches from my parents that end up the "if only"-you-played-less-games-and-did-better-in-the-umat conversation. YES. I am totally abusing the "-" sign.

-------
pretend this is...also an image. I call it the "septadash".

There's no moral to this, except, I am a very angsty teenager (absolutely pushing the age boundaries), the politically correct term is apparently "young adult". Don't ask how adults can be young... but I'd like to ask what's an "old adult" then? -insert more sidetracked ranting- ... angsting about my exams which makes my thought processes retarded.

ALL IN ALL. I AM WRITING MY "IF ONLY" now, less than 2 days before my exam.

To the Janice in December,

I am very sorry that your exams turned out the way they did and I am using this precious time that could be spent on studying to blog. But I hope you understand my current feelings with your future ones. Not that I believe things will change much in a month or so. But the exams can probably anal you. Not that I want that to happen. But if it does, this is my advance apology.

And a final word of advice. Seriously. FUCK COMMERCE. You will never learn to like it, because you can't really "learn" to like something. There will only be more "if only"s and more lectures and more vicious spirals. No one will think you are cool if you talk AS-AD models to them.

So.. grow a spine. Tell your mother that this is gay and it's not you want. ...then get started making your folio.

Sincerely.

Janice on 7th November. =)

When you finally see it...

2009-11-05T19:07:00.003+11:00

To do what we do, to do it well, to force ourselves to do it well, to find the resolve to initiate the personal forcefulness. Why? I know for real that I am not truly studying for myself.

I mean, if I was, why do I find it so hard to pick up my pen or finish my page of notes? To put up with this disinterest everyday, and to constantly seek escapes in games and anime. Is this what it is going to be like for the next 10 years of my life?

To live without passion; to be placed into a perfect little box labeled "A truly successful Asian with a six digit paycheck". I dislike accounts, I don't enjoy finance, tossing number makes me queasy while drawing graphs and pulling inferences from them about how the world is going to run makes me sleepy.

I know when to spend money and when to save up. I don't want to make theories to change the world nor do I want to be part of this high fashion society of absolutely wealthy Asians. I want to be me... uncomplicated simplicity. I want something unstructured... A space where I can design.

I want my legacy to live on in a form other than some financial theory. The difficult part is to stare at my mum in the face and tell her I hate what I am right now. I don't feel motivated because what I am doing everyday feels like a burden rather than the golden pavements on my so called "path to success". And the impossible part is making her understand.

Somehow I would have to make that point... because if I keep going, I am just lying to myself. What I like.. what I don't like. I know best... and it's time I stop lying.

Misunderstanding

2009-11-04T04:54:00.004+11:00

This is by no means a romantic post, for simply I am not a romantic person. The red is surprisingly irritating on my canvas of black. Nor is the rose an appropriate flower. The blank sheet of paper tho.. was what I sought. An empty white scape, wordless and full of pen strokes without meanings.

Frankly, I am not fond of you, in that manner. Yet I am intrigued often by your actions and responses. I don't know you at all, and this post would not provide any insight on who I am writing to... or if they truly exist. Yet maybe you feel connected. Perhaps it relates to you...

I don't know if you even frequent this place anymore, however, I must thank you for introducing me to the serenity of this ungodly hour. A time where I have space to think, where fatigue doesn't reach me, and where I am slowly destroying myself from the inside. Yet it feels like the world is standing still as long as the sun hasn't risen yet.

... this odd loneliness and feverish sleeplessness. I dread the fatigue tomorrow.

I don't know what you think of me. Probably nothing more than a passing stranger, but you seem to be more. I am wakeful enough to know the mind is full of tricks. What I think of you is probably not the real thing, but a mirage of what I hope you are. But nonetheless, thank you for this enchanting ideal.

Sincerely.

Who could you be? Isn't this just another ephemeral misunderstanding?

=)

o____o

2009-10-29T03:26:00.007+11:00

...Because a picture is worth a 1000 words. Then again, if I do sit myself down and spend an invigorating hour writing 1000 words for you, dear stalker of my blog, I DOUBT YOU'LL READ IT! You'll probably be like tl;dr, I know you will. Yes you, Benjamin Brown. I'm looking right at you and that 7/10 of my ice cream. =stares=

So you may ask.. what's with that stoned O____O face?

This picture, forms the first rebuttal i make towards your WOW is superior argument, which you haven't even made yet, but just in case. I'll reference it and I'm being annoying by making this caption waaaaaaaaaaaay too long =]

Answer is absolutely nothing, I've just run dry in my wells of creativity, which is about as deep as your average puddle. -shrug- moving on. I feel like ranting after VISTA decided to cut my dota game short by automatically restarting itself... stupid jew. I bet it planned that. Next thing you know, it'll sabotage my alarm and kill me in my sleep. -insert appropriate measure of industrial strength paranoia-

HI IM BOXXY.

... so today, I want to talk to you about how popular I am with the ladies... -refer to below-

Apparently Kaitlyn, a Craiglist, Leah, Brooke, Marissa, Angelica, more Craiglists, Kayla, Anouska, Aaliyah, Emma and even Winona plus some Coffeemaker wants to get it on with me, in all assorted fashions from a simple bi gang bang to all out anal wars. OH SNAP?

...

I don't get why all my spam happens to be erotic ads from the same site all just using different names. And I don't get why anyone would want to do it with Emma. She's got herpes you know. :/ As for Anouska nd Aaliyah... did these names like came from WOW?

IF they did, they probably belong to some kinky night elf running around in her undies. Behind that character is probably a very obese, 34 yo male with a delicious habit of scratching his left armpit, 3 inches to the left, when he gets nervous.

Has society all degenerated into a bunch of sex starved rabbits? I mean fornication is just an act... you have a pair of hands. USE THEM. D:

... and then I realised I still haven't addressed the issue that they all think I'm a guy. -silence- but that's ok... you know why?

... =) Your dad told me.

True story bro. (Y)

Code

2009-10-25T14:58:00.003+11:00

We are who we are... right?

But what really defines us? Don't people each seek some form of individuality that defines them and by being different to everyone else and seeking that same form of "difference"... aren't we all the same then?

I like observing people. Their difference make them cryptic and it's the "cryptic" part that intrigues me. In a simple manner of speaking, everyone has their own morals and a conscience. Inside that conscience lies some form of a code. And through deciphering that code, it becomes possible to predict certain actions.

Everything they touch or do contribute towards that code... and having a complete code is like having complete control over a person. What can't you do when you know everything about them? But then again, life is never that simple. No one would ever let someone know everything about them. Nor is that even possible...

Still it makes you wonder, when someone says certain things to you, don't you question is it because they know you and how their actions will influence you or simply because they felt like that was the best action at that time?

Who is ever that calculated...?

To who?

2009-10-16T21:44:00.002+11:00

-drops a mask-

And so lately I realised I haven't actually written anything here in ages. And to be honest I doubt anyone would look here anymore. Inactivity tends to reduce customer count.. not that you can buy anything here anyways. In essence I'm more like wasting your time and since time is money, I'm making you waste a valuable resource. -feels proud-

-rant ahead-

I've noticed that I have been really short tempered lately. I seem to get annoyed at you for whatever you do and for really small things that probably doens't even matter. I don't know why I've been so moody :/ but it isn't exactly good. I finally came to the epic conclusion that I think I've been mistreating you horribly.

I haven't exactly been seeing things from your point of view... I've been taking for granted what sort of lifestyle you have. I always think that you are bleeding time from your ears and that you have everything you need. That's pretty selfish of me to assume everything is perfect and it is my life that is in the shits.

But that's pretty different from real life, and I guess when I stop seeing, I stop noticing what is real and what is not. I'm sorry that you've been lonely, that you are stressed and that I always go "but it's far" when you ask me to make a trip to you. I'm sorry that I'm grumpy when I talk to you and give stupid answers because I felt like it. I'm prolly just miserable and it's mean of me to try and take it out on you...

I'm sorry that I say "No, I'm not in the mood".

I think I've finally seen today... I don't know how you can still smile at someone like me and tell me it's fine. I don't think I deserve anything after I realised. I've been do delusional. But then at that moment all I can remember is feeling terrible and ashamed of myself. So ashamed that I could only sob and throw my voice away for nonsensical sniffing. But then you were still smiling. Being kind. Telling me it's fine.

I felt so stunned... and then the cliched quotes that become cliched because it happens to so many people came to me. "Who else in the world would treat you like this?"

... and I realised you were probably the only person that would still smile after how you felt. So... I know I hardly say anything nice, but thank for being an amazing person and loving a real douchebag like me. =^o_____o^=

btw... you never change your toilet paper :3

Poke where it hurts ~

2009-08-26T15:03:00.002+10:00

There is rain on the pavement... "Do you want to blog about it?"

So you wonder how stupid and illogical it is for two grown ups to have a massive argument over a game. To the point where they start pouring "MY CONTRIBUTION..." to this and that left and right. And you start comparing who made more effort, who used more money and blah blah blah. ...then it all ends in uncaring little comments like "Do what you like" and "whatever"

...and it's.

Simply a game.

And if a game can tear people apart like that, I'd hate to think what other problems in life can do. Will you end up counting the tiles on your roof and saying how many tiles you contributed and how I never finished painting the underside of the staircase when I said I would?

Or how many dishes you washed over your life and how I never put the cutlery away? Or how you must pay me back $2 for the plastic forks and knives I never bought. Should I go ahead and charge you interest on all that?

Clearly that is what I want. Yes. Really truly.

Sleep fixes everything doesn't it? Maybe fatigue and soreness. But not the hole you left in my head or the way it's still making me feel. Or why I still miserable when I think about it...

Well fuck... it's the 27th tomorrow.

Vanish

2009-08-19T21:10:00.004+10:00

It is our nature to be biased and see things from the extreme. Rarely we remember happy times shared between individuals because happiness leaves no scar.

Bad things tho.. leave markings so deep, we don't let go of them for years. And even little things... score in scratches, leaving a marred surface of frustration and blue thoughts.

Yes we are allowed to be sad, be ignorant, and occasionally aggressively defensive because we are insecure of who we are.

...in the end, aren't we just another pathetic being trying to find acceptance and fit in for the next 10 minutes?

...

...

never there when you are needed.

Photo credits Jennifer Kostuik Gallery

Overdose

2009-07-24T13:35:00.002+10:00

As far as hiatuses go, my blog hasn't really beaten my 7 month hiatus in writing. Not that it is proper work anyway. But I did get off my lazy ass and write something of value last night, which is posted on the dark corners of the internet somewhere and feeding the fishes of a lovely fandom. :3 amen~

As for the current location of my piece of trash... I'll leave it up to the stalkers to find out.

The above picture, placed there as only a decorative item is used to pretend that I have actually lived a meaningful life this whole holiday. Namely I Mapled 24/7. Before my exams, between my exams and even more so after my exams.

Exams of course were nothing spectacular. The only really notable thing was the Marketing department sending a happy congratulations letter for a lovely H1 which I have already misplaced somehwere in my room... O.o it is starting to turn ironic that Marketing, the subject I wagged and slept through 90% of the lectures and bs-ed through the whole exam, should be the subject I do well in.

... when I slaved for a whole week over econometrics and it still makes me emo. >.>

maplemaplemaple~ the minor significance of that hair style up there is that it is exp. I decided to try my luck the other day and was surprised to get it on the first go :D rawr~

ANYWAY... this is a really boring entry... I need uni to start so I can start stalking randoms again :(

Read between the lines

2009-05-17T01:42:00.016+10:00

Hurray for big spaces! And too many pictures! -floodspam-

Because ninja posting is just so in right now~

So the story goes, Janice goes back to uni after her bowl of chilli noodles, having learnt her lesson.. she goes back to the same $4.50 noodle shop and orders noodles.

Then at the end of her line, she says to the girl "I want everything except chilli"...

There no point being all deep and enigmatic because simply I am not. People all have parts of their personalities that everyone would see and other parts that they don't show as much. Like one of my friends
X__________x
had said to me, you can be friends with someone for 6 years and still not know the deeper stuff about them. Nothing outside of 'she kicks you when you poke her nose'.
... 5 secs later, the girl puts chilli and nothing else into her noodles. ... what. the. fuck?

Which part of "Everything but chilli" didn't that girl understand? ... :/ Janice rage. :(

Although who we choose to let in to our hearts and consequently our secrets are entirely personal, most can take a guess. Perhaps I've been watching too much Evangelion but I can't help but feel the confusing logic in that anime makes a little bit of sense.

All her chilli ended up in Vic's noodles, cept the chilli oil. She managed to eat half of it before dying. ... again. x___X
People blocking others out because they fear betrayal and they fear the pain of rejection. As a result they end up lonely and isolated. I suppose I can understand that conflicting feeling. Investing trust into someone, only to have it all fall down and each piece of debris squeezing the mere ounces of feelings left in your heart. The numbness, the confusion, the hate and the hurt. I just couldn't be what I wasn't no matter how hard I pretended.
How embarrassing. From then on, she learnt, at the end of the line, she should just get nothing. =.=

In all other news, panda hats are the new... panda hats. People seem to stare at you a lot when you wear something out of the ordinary.
...
Feelings. Emotions. I am in no way an expert on them. It becomes a conscious decision to root myself to the spot when talking to an emotional person. It takes more to respond empathetically, and not rebuff them with the cold logic that has accompanied me since I was young.
...

Although Vic is one angry panda.

...
It isn't hard to be detached.. the problem is not to be. Another decision is not to be selfish and return the love you get given. But still I fear...

... betrayal. Lies can change a person. It takes much more to bring someone out of a shell than just words. And a far greater effort when they have walls instead of a thin paper.
... I am not much better at all =.=
Maybe I've always been stubborn and selfish with my love... trying not to feel too much, so it doesn't hurt as much just in case. That just in case, a haunting reminder.

I am a fail, dodgy motion blur and too much flash panda.

Shun is the how the fuck did I get dragged into this panda ...

So why love when it's all so painful? Why pay the effort? I guess to me the burden of being alone is more taxing than having love and support. Even though giving away secret after secret is scary and dangerous, the feeling of being cherished and cared for outweighs the risk.

He was wearing it rather proudly on the train. :D the shit he puts up with ^^

I swear, those guys ARE NOT wearing pants.

And only retards drink taro milk tea... well milf tea.You'll see

...

...
Maybe it's foolish of me to love, but it could be more foolish to be too afraid to take another's hand and miss what it could be. After all, you never know until you try. Although people part when things don't work out, you won't know until you get together.

That so says milf...
This flimsy logic obviously don't extend to marriage, but problems in the future are inevitable. It's sadder to not have a future at all than taking the chance.

In other news, I finally made the haxor Cross Pike :3 It's so ninja and so awesome. XD cept I am not fit for equiping pikes =( -sigh-

Thanks for everything you've taught me. And the understanding that I am quite a flawed human. =]

BECAUSE...

2009-05-07T00:49:00.017+10:00

Yeah that pictures does in fact show a weirdo dressed in a giant white sheet pretending to be a Greek god while running around with thongs at Glenny train station. ~ no comment. I believe, it's called a TOGA

Aside from playing too much Restaurant City... sleeping and avoiding work... I managed to get Dynasty Warriors: Strikeforce. :3 It was really addictive the first like ~ say 16 hours of game play because you can fly and jump around 4 times your own height. ~ not to mention everyone gets a ultra shiny fury mode that turns you into a Super Saiyan with OVER 9000 POWAAAAAAAAH.

Then the game got hideously hard and I realised it was made for co-op. The further I get, the more I am starting to think it will take severe amounts of grinding and about 100 elixirs to get through the game. ...pity I can only have a max of 10 on me each time...

The other highlight? THERE'S A PANDA IN IT! And it goes "Kyuuuun" while you feed it meatbuns :D

Aside from my obsession with my psp now. I decided to challenge chilli on Tuesday. Because Vic told me to. Well not really, the before lunch conversation kinda went like this.

Janice: "Is the chilli hot?" ~ lol? wth was I thinking?
Vic: "Nah, it's more sweet." ~ ...Janice is such a retard :P

So gathering up my ~~courage~~ stupidity, I went and bought a bowl of noodles from that noodle shop that Fang's family supposedly runs... and it came out looking like this.

I feel like such a pussy because it doesn't even look that bad here. Cept the fact there are heaps of red chilli oil floating around. I thought it was harmless until I took a bite and swallowed.

:/

My sinuses decided to commit suicide because it burned so much. So in short...

Janice -uses nom on noodles-
It's not very effective :(
Noodles - uses chilli oil
It's super effective ... 9999 damage.

Janice: waaah X___X

Well... my conclusion? I'm never gonna trust anyone that tells me chilli isn't hot. It's called chilli for a reason... it's peppers that aren't hot. But who eats noodles with peppers?

In other news, I am gay. ~~Because Vic felt so guilty he went and bought me another bowl of noodles...with my money.~~

Umm...

COPIC MARKERS!!

Yes, there's a whole rack of them here. They are $13 each while Swinny sells them for $9. Melbourne is such a jew school :(

And I am sure Shun just creamed his pants :P Which is why I put them here in the first place. But I am sure I am better at making him cream his pants

In all other news, I got a hair cut...

And that is... not me! :D Just some other Asian eating at Goshen and looking up all stoned like when someone went to take pictures >___>

Know Thy TB~

2009-04-26T02:08:00.007+10:00

omgaaaa~~ lyke...the contrast makes me so prettttttty xoxoxox

Upon randomy exploring the delicious culture known as TB and getting rather fat on their sparkly diets. I decided to take it one step further and investigate the legend known as Sticker Photos or Photo Stickers... wait. Which one is it?

o.O I don't have a clue..

Anyways~ As I embarked on my trek, I visited many many different Purikura Boutiques. Aside from being excellent for burning callories, my sacred pilgrimage was nothing but a waste of time. :)

HOWEVER~

That was until I stumbled across this particular pink machine...

When you see it, you'll shit bricks

If you can't seem to see it well, don't worry, you can try enlarging that. But why bother... The next few shots will really really, make you shit bricks. If not... you might burst a blood vessel or two and throw up some lols along with last night's broccoli.

As you see... Elton Lee, has fervently defended his TB-ness as something completely normal, and denies his royal TB, sparkly pink glittered linage due to the lack of participation in the arts of PhotoStickerCamWhoring. PSCW for short. Because of the lack of physical evidence, we are unable to pin him as the biggest TB to ever walk the earth.

How disappointing. ~ but that was until the arrival of this pink machine.

If you look closely, there happens to be a familiar face amongst the many glorious portraits plastered on the sides, all in their naked, innovative TB glory.

I shat bricks when I realised Elton occupied not one but THREE of those prints. O.o

TB POWAAAAAAAAH!!
"WE LOVE ~~ELTON~~"
~ It is fabled the savriour of the worlds will be born this eve, with the Mark of the Stars on his hand. ..And 100 Kg of all purpose silver/pink blend Glitter.

OMGAAAA KAWAIII DESUUUUUUUU??
Neko Elton...TB Neko to be precise.
~ I heard inhaling the sparkles grants the inhaler eternal life.

THE QUEEN OF ~~SPADES~~ .. TB-NESS
Bow down to him, kiss his feet. See that tiara? HE'S A FCKING QUEEN
..What's with the bananas?
~ Consequently, while looking around for that sceptre, I happened to find it labled under "Green Mardi Gra Scepter" Sold here

Conclusion?
Elton is a TB.

TRUE STORY!
=End Report=

highlight here~ Down
disclaimer: Janice Chen takes no responsibility in the truthfulness behind this post nor for any defamation as a result of the contents in this post, all resources obtained from here

Dialing the Wrong Number

2009-04-19T18:02:00.006+10:00

Because Yew Fai wanted it...

There's no significance in the grass cept green is suppose to calm you down. But it's not like I'm not calm.. it's more like the thoughts in my head stirs me a little.

They don't seem to be so calm.

It all starts with why? One why can unmake your world and you start to think about everything else. The voice, the memories and all those dislocated fragments that makes you wonder even more... why?

Take a left turn... to find perhaps I'm barking up the wrong tree or talking to wrong person? Disassociation solves all problems right?

Still it's hardly a problem. I lost half of myself to it already.

...so I flip open my sandwich...

Fuck.

Bob is still there.

-___-"

something borrowed. return in due time.

Drunken Saga

2009-04-14T14:49:00.010+10:00

It all started with this...

Looks like some slightly tinted water right? Wrong. It's rice wine. It reaaaaally doesn't taste that good and gives you weird dreams. The weird sort where you think you are awake cept not. Then next thing you know, something close to raptor Jesus is chasing after you.

Not quite, but still.

So the story came to be, I visited the House of Lu on Saturday. Out of slight interest on what it feels like, we/he decided to get drunk. When you discount all else like metabolism and alcohol tolerance, I'll still get drunk faster since I'm just thaaat much ~~shorter~~ smaller than him.

So after beer and his dad's hardcore rice wine, my head was rolling around my shoulders. I'm quite sure I did some reaaaaaally random shit that I normally wouldn't do. Like pretending I'm a cat, running around flailing, loudly claiming I'm not drunk, telling him I'm a rock type pokemon, something else, dancing the can can, drinking the elixir of life, stabbing harry potter, stealing the philosopher's stone, faunicating, whale hunting, stooge stomping, jackassing, midget punting ... etc~ The factual content of the above is highly questionable.

No I invite you to question it.

Since I still couldn't sleep off the alcohol in his room when 7 something rolled around, Being a nice person, Shun decided to take me home so I don't walk off into the woods on the wrong stop.

asdfg@#$%!...why is he so happy?

You know.. because of that, I've been having VERY fcken weird dreams these few nights? Or maybe it wasn't because of that but the fact that I'm just slightly queer in the mind or been playing too much games before I sleep. o.o LIKEEEEE ~

The one where I was on a bus with a bunch of people, all standing around the ticket validation machine thing and sticking our tickets in... then everyone was asking "Why are there no stuns?"

Cause: Probably Dota

Or the one where I got this weird T-shaped scar on my stomach and it had heaps of stitches on it. Then along comes my mum... pinned me down and cut all my stitches lose. I was like "asdfg... what the fudge are you doing?"

Then mum was like "Don't worry you'll be fine". I'm quite sure the next bit my insides prolly fell out and went to buy ice cream, but the dream ended before then. It was pretty messed up...

Cause : probably Yew Fai.

Or the one where I'm on the bus alone and a guy suddenly appears and tries to sell me shoes. I told him I don't need shoes and he got aggro and chased me off the bus into the streets. Then I ran into this weird looking house and a bunch of people were trying to run an antique cafe.

Cause: no ideaaaa.

Did I learn my lesson?

With a boyfriend like this would I?

So off we went again, yesterday. Through Dandenong at 7:40pm, with a bottle of ... non-alcoholic grape drink :3 I still don't get why Shun looks so darn happy.

:D

Must be the studded condoms he got to make him feel like a stud. <3

...

2009-04-10T00:18:00.002+10:00

:(

comfort. It feels empty and it hurts.

Void

2009-04-06T02:29:00.002+10:00

It's odd to feel that way again... after I haven't had this strange feeling in a while. The kind where you sit calmly and realise you are lonely, then wonder if you are in fact, feeling sad. It's another one of those rare moments where I'd dwell on the various aspects of my life again, finally having the time to reflect.

And all the contemplating starts. One thought after another, linking them into a web of memories. Some things I rather remember, others I want to forget. No matter how far the thoughts go, one always circles back. This bitter sweet emptiness that's foreign but at the same time nostalgic.

This oddity of a void, that masks everything in a deathly stillness. Devoid of opinion and emotion. I start to wonder if we laugh to feel less empty; see friends to feel less lonely and dream to pass the time? Do we pretend to be things we are not because it's easier than facing reality?

There's obviously some sort of meaning you write into my life, otherwise I won't feel so odd without your presence... like I'm slowly slipping and losing sight on what I want and what I am.

"We dream so we don't have to be apart for so long". - I can't stop thinking about this sentence and the value behind it...

Banana top skirts ...

2009-04-04T01:49:00.013+11:00

Hurray for my non-existent sense of creativity.

If the title sounds familiar, it's only because I've been listening to a song that inspired it. I am so ~~epic~~ lame.

Lately I've been noticing... after going out for dinners on too many occasions and having the same crap all the time. Oysters look like certain things. But that's probably because I've been hanging around Dramatica too much. It also happens, when I google that place, it's the second link... surprisingly.

Anyways, there's nothing substantial in this entry... cept I hate you. YES YOU!

You, happen to be that @(#% moron on the tram, that takes up TWO seats in one go. Observe.

That's quite the douche behaviour.

And I'm only stalking because it was so unnecessary and I was standing the whole time, while this guy was leisurely sitting on two seats. If I was any more adventurous, I would have gone and sat on his lap. But that would have been really awkward.

Do you know what else is unnecessary tho? On purpose accidental showcasing of undergarments.

Ok like seriously... is there a need to show your bra off to every single ~~horny, never getting laid, desperate~~ marketing boy and girl that's sitting behind you? Even tho it's quite the purple CK bra... I don't think wearing such a low cut dress to uni is entirely necessary.

Unless of course, it's like I assumed, you bought one that's like 3 sizes larger so it'd hang off your back in a oh so sexy manner. I was so excited... I left to go home.

Dear Random Trendy Boy that walked onto my bus:

How enchanting you would have been,
If you pocket wasn't hanging out of your jeans.

Like a shrivelled-
Oyster.

Much -heart- and lols
x. JANICE

Just like everything, this entry is pretty unnecessary, I just felt like whinging a little and taking stalkery photos.

Even my kitty has an opinion to all this.

"FACEPALM"

Needless to say, to facepalm while sleeping, takes a considerable amount of skill.

:)

Bitter Contempt

2009-03-31T15:17:00.002+11:00

Pic totally unrelated to post. And I guess angry rant ahead... avoid til next post, when I'm in a better mood.

...

k go.

It's not often that you'd get pissed off by a total stranger on a bus, but still, I guess it can happen. It wasn't much of a big deal either, just probably my mood and tiredness.

Somehow out of luck I ended up at the station to catch the bus at the same time my grandparents had. I guess that's what happens when you wag uni. They happened to be with a friend~ and like all homey Asian gatherings get, they get happy, excited and loud.

We all got onto the same bus and since grandpa has a habit of seating alone, his friend was talking to him from I guess a few seats away. Sure there was a few strange stares at these Asians talking in their funny dialect half way across the bus to each other... but I doubt they were causing much serious disturbances.

So came the time when his friend had to get off the bus. The 80 year old happened to be carrying his own groceries by himself, which included a selection of potatoes and milk. Due to a sudden brake from the bus driver, he lost his balance during a goodbye wave to my grandpa and slipped backwards. Lucky he fell back onto his seat and the half empty bag of his just slid down the aisle.

Still, what struck me was that no one decided to help him. What was worse and made me really angry was the fact that this woman next to me quite loudly proclaimed "What a stupid man". What was dressed as a homely, pristine and probably hoping for classy with her ugly bleached blonde hair and cheap pharmacy sunglasses, woman, was perhaps the most grotesque reminder to me on ignorant people.

Selfish, pampered individuals like you would never know what it's like to be in trouble. Consideration is probably a concept too vague for that brain of yours filled only with lowly imitations of Gucci, Prada and LV. If you are free to hang around a bus at 3, perhaps seeking employment might make your dreary existence more worthwhile, and less like that of a pimple on the asscheek of society.

Keep your silence if all you can offer is your own downgraded human experience. The lack of compassion makes you a truly despicable creature dressed in a ironically worldly manner that only reflects how out of place you truly are. I regret not putting you in your place today, but I do hope one day, when you are slipping half way down the anus of life, a stranger would offer you the kind words ~ "What a stupid woman"

May you have a lovely day, and that you find the humourless bitterness in your own ignorance nostalgic, when the same scene replays itself on another bus. Only the person falling is your mother, or even better, yourself.

The day Shun lost his...

2009-03-27T23:24:00.012+11:00

... DIGNITY.

What were you thinking?

From time to time, it's safe to say that shit happens. And on this particular day, the metaphorical shit dumped itself on one unsuspecting Shun Lu in the form of a Janice Chen. After much constant nagging that caused intense internal bleeding of the ears and the infections the size of a cantaloupe, I finally broke away Shun's defences... ~~namely he finally agreed to doing it in the ear.~~

...you wish.

But death comes in a variety of sizes and gay designs...

Like your basic colours...

The more sombre shades of emo...

The stripy and negro...

So after much decisions and indecisions, he grabbed a bag and ran for the counter.... paid and shamefully left Cunt-tree Road. His expression was a mixture of emotions. Most would say he had the face of a man that got sodomised.

Looks pretty happy for a butt rape victim...
"Fuck..."

It wasn't even on sale...

It wasn't until 10 minutes later, that he realised that item was filed under female accessories. So to help ease him into this position of weird half boy half girlness... we employ the help of headbands.

I am being such a butt pirate to him...
Happy 8 months :)

Well finally after a day of torture and feeling like he's carrying giant black penis beneath his arm, we came back to Glenny Station where Shun was eagerly eyeing a bin and wondering if I'd fit.

Needless to say, like all those sodomised by a CR bag, you get used to it really quickly. Then you go out and whore your friends to get them.

Rickrolled.

<3>

About 10 mins after posting...

shun[fork]think that janice kid is pretty leet says:
*OMG
*i got rickrolled
† I z z y s p o o n Guylian guylian guylian <3>

8

2009-03-27T00:14:00.002+11:00

88888888
~
Something special :)

that is all

Oh so silly..

2009-03-26T20:45:00.009+11:00

The more I hang around 2009, the more I notice things that I normally don't notice. And well I must say I'm the biggest stalker on earth and I do take a lot of random pictures with my phone, so one day, I'm definitely going to get sued. Still... there are so much bizzare things going on... I do agree I've been living underneath a rock.

Well this was on the 8am Glen Waverley train to uni, where it gets packed with people after the first few stations and still MOAR people want to get on. Beeecause, when you are all nice and close, groping becomes so much easier. >__>

Yeah I bet you'd hate to be on the train with me because, one I'm weird and annoying; two I'd take photos of you without you noticing. My reach is so vast that I got the lady in the other set of seats reading her neighbour's newspaper in a leisurely lounge that expresses boredom, while she's pretty interested on the inside. Get your own~~

As for the foreground... that's a lady writing what I thought was poetry at first, but then after some -cough- nonchalant glances, it turns out she was writing down a page of prayers. And well.. I thought that was random, she topped it off and pulled out a tin bible.

No joke... it's a tin O.o

As for a few sets of seats away, lady newspaper finally put away her less than $5 asset after noticing her private good was being turned into a public good and the benefits devoured by the lady next to her through some hardcore free riding. So... lady nonchalant realises her paper is gone, decides to glance out the window to ease her boredom.

And so we move on to my question of life at the moment... why don't hobos steal fire hydrants?

Having turned up to my tute too early, I poked around outside the tute room and realised...the fire hydrants are just hung on the wall. Sure that's all for easy access in an emergency (mind you there's like a binding plastic thing that probably needs to be cut with scissors, unless the hulk is around, I doubt people carry scissors in fires). STILL... from the way they just leave them lying around, I wonder why bums don't come and steal it then sell it on ebay or something.

I guess only someone as stupid as me would do something like stealing a fire hydrant >.> Hmm I also have vague memories of that building being on fire alert mode last year during my tute. I thought it was a joke too, turns out it was actually on fire. ~ oh well :P one less fire hydrant can't hurt ...

btw... MELBOURNE > MONASH

Not every uni offers free take home fire hydrants... or JELLY WRESTLING with girls in short shorts and tank tops in the middle of lunch on the South Lawn. OH YEEEEEAH. Wait I mean... -clap clap clap-

No, I don't dig girls ok? But still...it was pretty hot. Pity I was rushing to my tute in a building covered in jizz and aids...otherwise I might have stayed longer to take a video rather than a picture.

BUT, I BET MONASH DOESN'T HAVE THAT!... or tutors that wears see through shirts and black bras. :)

I sound like a raving lesbian. =/ That's uncool...

Then again, so are squishy physique and cheese coloured t-shirts. Plus too much emo mascara and baboon cheeks. I didn't snap the face, that's asking for rape. >.> but it's unsavoury all the same.

On par with the effing purple tights epidemic that's sweeping the streets of Melbourne. Purple tights are just gross... wtf man. It's like shouting "I have grape juice on my legs". :( I realllllly don't see the appeal in them. =/

However...

These are love. I recently just got one ... recently means really recently..like 2 hours ago. And aside from the evil side effects of headbands they are really quite lovely. :3 Now I have sufficient excuse to pretend I'm 12 :) thanks to a certain kind, generous person. <3>

Huh?

2009-03-22T17:18:00.003+11:00

Lately... I've been feeling lazy. So really, the details of my life became a bit too much to remember. Though a few observations here and there aren't too demanding. There is something wrong with the picture by the way...

I noticed I love watching people... and it sounds very stalkery. Still~ I did happen to notice...

Everyone seems to be aiming for tight clothes these days. Sure maybe it stops certain people's clothes from turning into tents and a circus amusement, at times when it gets too tight it becomes unflattering. People really shouldn't buy jeans that are 2 sizes too small and squeeze into them because the way it hugs their ass is hot... because their ass might be so hot it melts plastic benches, what's above it is ... not

Yup, something is definitely spilling out...

Aside from that, spiders seem to enjoy abseiling down from my hair. Imagine my surprise when one decided to ninja into my field of vision by dropping down while I was playing ds. With the way it was wobbling... it doesn't take a genius to figure out that the web was in fact, attached to my fringe. O.o I was too dopey to even panic, so while still engrossed in the new Covenant of the Plume, I grabbed the web and tissued the unfortunate thing. -cringe-

And there concludes another chapter of my life. I am quite sure I'm still scared of spiders tho... however unresponsive I was. Some people are just slow I guess...

Definitely Asian

2009-02-15T02:04:00.010+11:00

Well it's about time I did something new with this blog. Thanks to a stalker's valued opinion, I was being too emo. So what better way to pass my time now than to be cynical? =]

Now the question is... what's this?
It looks awfully like a giant bunch of tumour growing out of a phone. Oh right... it's just an Asian with their phone. That's alright. Forget the fact that when you use that phone you'll be sticking a lump of stuff the size of your head next to your ears or the fact that there are two Spongebob Squarepants attached - either you were stupid enough to buy two or your phone charms are making babies behind your back.

So aside from the usual wtfs... a phone charm is a simple contraption you stick onto your phone to make you more trendy. They come in a variety of forms...

And no it's not just you, I see a cigarette butt and a green toilet with a face on it too. Pity they are a mandatory item to being a true Asian. If you don't have a phone charm then you just don't cut it. Feel free to sob a little and curl up into a ball because the cool Asians won't hang with you due to your lack of phone charms.

You are also welcome to become an obsessive compulsive charm collector that hangs a bunch of haemorrhoids from your phone. Each to their own I guess. No problems right? ... WRONG.

The really annoying part starts here. Imagine you are out and your phone is dead, so you turn to your tb-cough- I mean nice friend to ask to borrow a phone. They spend 10 minutes rummaging through their bag of who knows what, another 10 trying to fight and loosen something, and finally, very triumphantly pulls out their phone along with Naruto, Sasuke, Ichigo, Cloud Strife, Tifa, a Buster Sword, plush Rabbit, a dice, Squall Leonheart, a heart, stars, Shun Lu, Vincent Valentine, Sakura, TEH SATAN, a family of starving weasels, Yasith AND a box of aids ALL ATTACHED TO THEIR PHONE.

Feel free to imagine something a thousand times worse than this.. well the purple one is obviously doingitwrong with the black fingernails and the "CUT HERE" attached to their wrist. Emo =/= Asian.

I sure hope you enjoy using their phone, because I doubt I am much of a fan of having 5kg hanging off the side of my face while I'm talking to my parents to ask for a lift at 3am...which is hard enough as it is. It would also be nice to laugh at them when they are in their 30's and their neck is bent from carrying too much phone charms arounds.

Moral of the story? Use ONE charm if you are tb and get over yourself. Please please please don't do the following because you'll cause humanity to hate you.

No matter how much you love fried rice, it's just stupid to have a spoon of rice attached to your phone. That's more than enough Asian...try attaching Chinatown next.

Will make you no more HaRdKorZ JaPaNeSE than you already are. Food is just weird. Stop it.

Faggotry at its finest... Just in case they run out of teacups at hotpot because too many people go there. I'll carry my own attached to my phone. ~Well I hope you spill your tea all over your new Iphone.

I have no doubts these came from Japan and it's the perfect way to identify yourself as a 50 year old pedophile who's never gotten laid and enjoys watching year 7 girls go about their swimming practice because it's comparable to Naruto Hentai. Honestly...bondage doll phone charms. What. The. Fuck?

Lastly... the most screwed up of them all and for all you suicide lovers out there. Here. Use this. It's so convenient it's attached to your phone. Feel free to disappear into a bathroom and come out with slashed wrists, we promise we'll pretend to care.

...I herd you lyke Mudkipz

Rock bottom

2009-02-11T21:35:00.003+11:00

And so I have around 2 and a half hours left until I am a hag. It seems like I've finally hit the rock bottom stages of being 18. Sure it's a nice number and all; lets me buy porn freely, corrupt little boys, steal flowers, stomp on furry little animals and get into clubs. Not that girls buy porn or anything and half of the stuff I listed, I don't even do.

So I guess today and now, would be a nice time to tribute something to this nondescript life of mine. After all, it feels like it's ending.

19 just doesn't seem like that fun of an age right now, I mean after it I'll be 20. What a retarded number. So to be honest and heartfelt right now, like I even have a heart, I'll list all those thing that've crossed this mixed up mind of a little girl.

This whole year, I've been chasing after expectations and I guess a little overly obsessed with proving myself. There's been love, hate, regret and a bucket of clichéd metaphors that are suppose to make me sound ultra artistic, but alas, since I am not, there just isn't.

I've always wondered if I should be clear about my life. After all, I am going towards second year uni and I still have no positive life goals here aside from waking up and feeding myself. Walking to the fridge can also be considered an achievement since I am awfully lazy. I've also gotten tired of NYR because I never seem to keep mine. I guess this year I'll try a little harder to live.

I still don't get what living feels like. This mundane rinse cycle rhythm just doesn't make me feel very real and it gets worse because it's evident that I wasn't trying at all last year. What makes it even more annoying is the fact your parents tend to notice and rub it in. I guess time is running out a little, I can't stay young forever, and like the stupid water that likes to seep out of a leaky bucket, my age is climbing. ~ and I am a little too over serious here.

Sometimes I realise I don't even make sense... Still, I have yet to find a goal for when I am climbing up this hole of life, but I think I want to stay true to myself. I don't want to be something because someone else wanted me to be, and for all the honesty in me, I'd like to become something that I can look at and be proud of.

Finally, I am reaching the end of something, though I am no clearer than when I started, I want to live and I want to live honestly. With my own two hands, I want to change my life and do something in the next 356 days that I can be happy with.

As a tribute to those bittersweet memories of the past, it's true that I've grown a hard heart, and a non loving personality. However, for one person I am willing to melt that snowy heart so I can learn to be more humane.

This all started with some none romantic internet stalking which makes meaningful elaboration hard. YET~ I still want to thank a fork that's been there all along and will hopefully be there in the future to continue... forking? .. Still it was this guy that slapped me across the head when I started fretting about acceptance. Quite simply he answered every teenage girls question to popularity... just be yourself. I am taking this advice to heart...if I had one. Although insignificant and almost tb in nature, it has set me straight in a pool of strange questions.

And now for the self centred list I am going to laugh at in the next Rock Bottom Stage of my life~ hurrah for 25.

1. Is nothing special but also something special in someone's life
2. Has a cat that likes to eat her... clothing
3. Totally sucks at things that boys are good at
4. Wishes pretty hard that she's a boy...sometimes
5. Can draw =] (LIES)
6. Melbourne Commerce whore
7. Antisocial on Wednesdays
8. Is not vegan because she hates plants
9. Knits lol~
10. Loses her way often
11. Habit of listening to songs on repeat if she likes it
12. Shopping makes her tired
13. Spends too much money on food but can't eat much
14. Don't smile enough...
15. Moody ~
16. Thinks all the time
17. Awfully blunt sometimes
18. Sucks at the female mind game business
19. Has a relatively strange history
20. Sleeps on a bunk bed
21. Only child
22. Spoilt by a fork
23. Likes blue things
24. Aging and dying, but aren't we all?

25. Thankful for his existence.

For a non-believe in a lot of things, you've changed my life. Thanks... see you when I am a pedo =)

An Undeniably Awkward Species

2009-02-11T01:05:00.002+11:00

Woman. Girl. Feminine.

My thoughts on woman are mixed and a lot more complex than my thoughts on the male species. They make me more wary and tense than their male counterparts would. Although physically not as strong, the female species makes up for their lack of physical stature with their powerful mind games.

Women are all well versed at all forms of emotional blackmail and inflicting pain without words. They know which buttons to press to get whichever reactions they are looking for. They know what to do to get they want, and the scariest part is that their intentions are never made clear til the last moment.

All in all, a complex species that is both beautiful and dangerous.

Personally I am not a fan of women... it's also weird that I am also one.

100 Questions ftw!

2009-02-08T01:13:00.004+11:00

1.How old will you be in five years?
x+5 ~

2.Who did you spend at least three hours with yesterday?
Shun

3. How tall are you?
more like how untall I am, 156cm.

4. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks?
absolutely no idea, some kind of exciting surprise

5. What's the last movie you watched?
bride wars because watching bitch fight on a big screen makes you cool =]

6. Who was the last person you called?
Shun

7. Who was the last person to call you?
Shun

8. Who was the last person to text you?
Shun …this is getting repeatitive… O.o

9. Do you prefer to call or text?
Shu—I mean wait. I prefer call, easier. Am a lazy turd

10. Do you have any pets?
I sure do, I have a kitten named Pudding and a closest of virgins

12. Are your parents married?
No shit… they are not.

15. What planet do you like?
Uranus =] for all the obvious reasons of being an Aquarian… oh and others too

16. What are you wearing right now?
short shorts and tank top

17. What is your favorite christmas song?
I hate all Christmas songs equally

18. Where is your favorite place to be?
my room =]

19. Where is your least favorite place to be?
a full train where I am standing in a place with no rails that I can reach

20. Where would you go right now if you could go anywhere?
Alaska

23. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
Ummm ghosties

24. Who was the last person that really made you laugh?
lols the carrot matt =P

25. How many TVs do you have in your house?
3

26. How big is your bed?
Bunk with bottom opened up to a double bed

27. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer?
lappy because they are just what you need to get accepted by society in uni

28. Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
clothes plox

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?
1 for my head and 2 others for decoration

31. What is your favorite season?
autumn, it isn’t bitching hot or unreasonably cold… and there are crunchy leaves to step on

32. What do you like about summer?
beaches =]

33. What do you like about winter?
I’d say Christmas but Australia kinda screws that up, so haha, nothing.

34. What do you like about the fall?
Trees =]

35. What do you like about spring?
People with hay fever that I can laugh at … or offer tissue

36. How many states have you lived in?
2 one in China and now one in Australia…does that even count?

37. How many cities/towns have you lived in?
I don’t know go away!

38. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet?
Bare …feet?

39. Do you like wearing jeans?
Reasonably, but since I’m a girl I am obligated to ask if my ass looks fat each time I try a pair. =P

40. What was the last thing you ate?
Grass jelly. No shit, check it out =]

41. What is your favorite restaurant?
Not the restaurant kind, so I’d just pick one of my friends that can cook =]

42. Longest car trip?
Don’t have a clue, probably the one I puked in. Oh does buses count? If they do prolly the one to Beechworth.

43. What's your favorite kind of ice cream?
Lemon gelato

44. What is your favorite kind of soup?
Lol sif ask me what my favourite soup is… tomato soup I guess…it’s red >=]

45. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich?
ew I hate PB and with jelly is even weirder… still man PB... what do you know about lead?

46. Do you like Chinese food?
Are you kidding? I live off that stuff… literally. So no, I am not fan but it’s for survival =.=

47. Do you like coffee?
No…coffee is yucky… I’m the hot choc kid.

48. How many glasses of water, a day, do you drink on average?
I drink when I feel like it. =/

49. What do you drink in the morning?
I drink …whatever I can find in the fridge, last option being milk

50. Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?
Someone else, it’s always more fun to know if something bizarre happens you don’t have 100% chance of dying unlike when you are alone

51. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?
I sleep in the middle! Take that!

52. Do you know how to play poker?
In between… I guess I know, but I don’t play… so lol wtf?

53. Do you like to cuddle?
Ummm… can I bite you? No? Then I guess not

54. Have you ever been to Canada?
Hahah, no if I did I’d go live with Jaryth

55. Do you have an addictive personality?
Addictive…personality? Only sadists will be addicted to me…

56. Do you eat out or at home more often?
Depends if I am getting fed by Shun or not, but chances are I’d eat at home… I guess his home counts as home too O.o right?

57. What is your favorite cheese?
Brie because it’s squishy fun =D

58. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you?
Apparently Yew Fai’s sister, but he could very well be trolling me

59. Do you want kids?
Ew babies… no offsprings at the moment…kkthanxbai

60. Do you speak any other languages?
Mando and Canto ~ I’m so asian

61. Have you ever gotten stitches?
Nope, never ripped myself open enough =]

62. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
Nope…

63. Do you prefer an ocean or a pool?
Ocean for the free fish

64. Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seat?
Window, otherwise be ready to dodge my puke

65. Do you know how to drive stick?
Hahaha, no

66. What is your favorite thing to spend money on?
I spend money on food…

67. Do you wear any jewelry?
Necklace and earrings.

68. What is your favorite TV show?
Don’t watch TV

69. Can you roll your tongue?
I sure can if I want to choke and die, otherwise I guess not. I’m hella ordinary =(

70. Who is the funniest person you know?
Arthur or Will…

71. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
Not really… they make my bed look less empty =p

72. What is the main ring tone on your phone?
Rofls… The ringing Indian

73. Do you still have clothes from when you were little?
No I donated those.

74. What red object is closest to you right now?
My desk lamp

76. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
Depends if I was lazy with shutting it, usually open for easy ghost ganking access

77. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees?
BEAR! I’VE ALWAYS WANTED A BEAR

78. would you rather fight a chimp or a badger?
Badger… you can just like…stomp on it. I saw too much Welcome to the Jungle to appreciate fights with monkeys

79. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
Umm nothing… I just eat them

81. Can you change the oil on a car?
lols what?

82. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket?
I don’t drive so … no

83. Have you ever run out of gas?
refer to above

84. What is your usual bedtime?
1-2 am

85. What was the last book you read?
A painted House. =]

86. Do you read the newspaper?
Nope~ ignorant bastard child =]

87. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
Nope… ceebs

88. Do you still sleep with the lights?
Does my glowy mouse count?

89. Do you watch soap operas?
Hahahaha… ask any random asian and I am sure most of them would say yes and as you who you think is the hottest Korean dude…

90. Do you dance in the car?
How the hell do you dance in a car?

91. What was the last note you scribbled on a piece of paper?
Shun’s Swinny thingo room number

94. What is your favorite candle scent?
Scented candles make me dizzy… but vanilla is alright

95. What is your favorite board game?
monopoly, am a hardcore money whore

96. How would you describe pop up pirate or buckaroo as a board game?
what in the name of god is that?

97. When was the last time you attended church?
LOLS… umm last year because mum wanted to go …

98. Which one of your friends have you known the longest?
-sigh- if I had friends I’d answer this

99. What is the longest you have ever camped out in a tent?
7 days for school and walking through a desert full of kangaroo poop. FAAAANTASTIC BROKEN HILL!

100. Did you realize you just completed a 100 question survey?
Yeah well let me ask you this, did you notice 13 14 92 93 are missing so it's not really 100?

Lost...another peasant?

2008-12-24T20:16:00.003+11:00

Nothing much to report cept a I lost a little boy, age 17 (not even a proper adult). Last sighted somewhere in Melbourne boarding some plane.

Now is probably wondering the snowy nothern planes of China. Supposedly had orange hair, but got cut because it was too long and his grandpa doesn't like it.

If found, please blog.

Reward is a cheap rubbishy crco found in a drain... =]

Shall blog about China when I'm back in Melbourne, but still...HONG KONG IS AWESOME!

What do you know about Sand and Sheds?

2008-12-08T00:17:00.011+11:00

(The day before the exciting beach day, I went chilling in a shed. It was dark and fun. I don't think I'll ever forget it. =])

And now, on to the beautiful day at St Kilda beach. Three hapless teenagers, one without a notable blog decided they'd journey to St Kilda beach and spread some boredom there. Hence early at 10 something they boarded the 623 bus and took up all the room at the back.

The bus trip itself was a thoroughly invigorating experience.

So invigorating...they both started gaming at the back. =.=

Anyways, the beach was a fantastic bottle of fun. There was sand everywhere... in my toes, down my pants, in Shun's hair, down Tina's dress, squelching in my thongs, passing through their thongs...simply put...bloody sand everywhere. Crusty sand, seaweed filled sand, stinky sand, sand with money in it, sand castle sand, wet sand, dry sand, in your undies sand, pervert sand, quick sand - ok maybe not quick sand, but you get it. It was like a desert on a coast.. or something poetic like that.

And of course, what beach is complete without bloody seagulls? Those losers won't eat my panadol ....or my mints. Smart buggers. After a feeding frenzy we were literally surrounded by seagulls. It was very creepy and Shun was like some crusty seagull mistral.
Here I'll introduce the secret technique No. 39 The Squatting for Seagulls technique that just attracts them by the dozens. See that satisfied smile on his face? That's one happy and leet seagull squatter. But you'd expect it...he squats all the bloody time...

See, on three separate occasions in the same time frame of 2-3 hours, he squatted like 3 times... and in the 3rd frame, he pulled off the Seagull attraction squat... see that smile... Oh did you know Shun's a mermaid? I even have a picture to prove it, but I'm scared that he'd take my life away if I posted it...so I guess I won't. Tina'd probably just laugh... yeah I know she will. >=]

Of course...the day can't go smoothly without burying me. So they did... wrapped me up like a towel mummy and starting throwing sand all over me. Let me tell you, it's a very weird experience. Firstly you get fine sprays of sand all over your face each time they add something. Secondly, the sand tickles when it rolls off... and thirdly, if your friend is a knob, they'd sit on you. Just like Shun the Squatta here... who sat on me...and pissed me off...so I got up and tried to tackle him...

Didn't really work when he is still raging about his lost $2. Ended up on top of me... I got pretty squished. And somewhere before that he nearly tossed me into the sea... O.o lovely <3 Now tired and spent, like teenagers that have unleashed their bukkake of boredom all over the fine (lol whatever) beaches of St Kilda, we just beached ourselves on towels and got sunburnt.

I did...Shun did and I am not sure about Tina. Because he was so nice...he bought us ice creams while we ran a toilet trip. :) Dinner at China Bar... involved a slave boy cutting up my chicken. Hahah...cause I am too lazy to do it myself.

Thank you guys~~~~~~~~ you are awesome. Now I can go to China in peace... kinda.. not really. I just felt like saying that.

Don't look at the monitor so close...you might grow cancer..

True story~ Dec '08

Lovely boyfriend =]
Lovely girl friend/ Leet photographer

For however long I have to write...

2008-11-30T15:39:00.002+11:00

So the story goes... this kid called Shun had to go out for lunch, because you know, there's a beastly thing that just seem to suck all the food out of his fridge leaving him with nothing to eat except nutritious white plastic.

Therefore, driven by the need to feed, he decides to go on a journey to quest for food. Somewhere where he can exchange food for money...wait I mean money for food. And this creature called a Janice decided she'd write for the 30 mins that he is gone, knowing full well that he is capable of loitering for a lot longer than that.

But since she's Janice, she might just cheat, you know?

What easier things to write about but yourself? I am not self centred enough for that yet. So I might as well reflect on something else. I can try and be deep, meaningful, subtle, kind, gentle, eloquent with my words but that might not be me unless I am truthful.

For 30 minutes or more these hands have to continue typing whatever truths comes to mind. (so it becomes a giant epic rant the size of 100 dishcloths). As of right now, no thoughts come to mind, except maybe the lingering bits of a headache that is waiting to flame into existence. I overslept most likely.

I really should be eating, but there's a guest outside and I am too lazy to go change into proper clothes to greet them, so the pie that I have cooked so diligently now sits cold in the microwave. The world sure works in mysterious ways to stop me from feeding. I sound like a vampire.

On the topic of vampires, I've remembered there was a time in my life where I wanted to be an immortal and just watch life pass by around me. Still I realised I'd be destroying lives each time I feed and change another. I hardly think that being disagreeable with sunlight would make many people happy. After all, we are creatures of light and the dark inspires fears in our hearts. At least in mine.

So it was said humans are born only fearing two things, the unknown and loud noises. All our other fears are self acquired. And you wonder why horror films work so well...we are taught to fear.

Why fear though? Life goes the same way for everyone, we continue to grow and gain more experience. There's no end to this cycle until death comes and claims us all. I wonder when I'll go and what method would it be. I don't think I'll fear death... it happens and it is a finale. So I won't have to go through living everyone else's death.

...death? Why am I so morbid today? It's like there's something extremely poetic and enigmatic that I wanted to say, yet I can't get it onto paper. -Sigh- I think I just want food.

And I am not so entranced by the way of living where I play games to pass my days. Sure there's a part that wants to go on an adventure, but those things only happen in movies, glorified by music and flawless acting. Something that a mere mortal can't achieve. Still...who doesn't like that epic feeling of playing a victorious hero, or the aftermaths of their victory, the sweet beckoning of love...and whatever follows.

They always cut out the tedious bits like where they get the money to buy their armour and what made them so hardcore. Those bits are the realities that we see for ourselves. Struggling and toiling around life til we reach a stable state where we can just go through the motions of living. Then going numb...and you wonder why people have no feelings sometimes.

We are after all resilient creatures and as they'd promise, there's a reward after every turn.

This drabble is getting too weird...

So...back to the picture at the top, which was what I originally intended to write about. Love.

It's such a faraway thing to some yet other can roll around in buckets of it. The latter seem to be the luckier kind. I was prowling around the internet today while my beloved was off playing dota and killing people, and I stumbled across the vast plane called myspace.

They used to be a couple that resented so much because it felt like I was robbed of something. I have such dark thoughts sometimes it scares me. I finally gave up those feelings in July, otherwise I think I'd never be free. Yet now, as I look at them, a pair that is torn in two, I felt bad.

They really were cute together. It is sad to see an end to it. Yet there is an end to everything. I wonder when my end is? I hope I never have to witness it with my own eyes. I'd rather poke them out with matches.

They say age is a core factor in these things. Yet I think no matter how old you are, you still learn, make mistakes and see things your way. It doesn't mean that when you are older you are automatically smarter. Some people never learn and others have such a large pride they learn but don't act on their experience. How many more do we have to hurt until we'd finally see the path of destruction we walked through the fields?

I wish never to be that way and if I ever take the wrong path, I hope you'd pull me back before I walk too far away.

It might be childish to say I want to be with you. Now and I'd love to add forever and ever, but I think we've agreed that we are rational people. Talking about the future will only build some dreams that might never be realised. Frustration would be the main feeling if we never had this forever and ever.

Though it'd be nice. At least right now I know it feels right and I need someone like you in my life. I am irrational, strange and highly contradictory. You are the only one that would help one side argue against the other. I am definitely not graceful and I am starting to see that I can be clumsy as hell..

.. I am definitely wearing shoes in the kitchen next time. Butcher knives are scary...

=stop=

and now you are back... I wonder how many words this is?

I accidently a whole steak

2008-11-28T20:16:00.002+11:00

Todays was meatzor cooking dayz =P

Today there was much makings of steak. It appears it's most productive when you invite unsuspecting little boys to come to your house to do housework. I think I might start an elf farm.

They only want to be paid by meat, so it's all good. =] I is happy, really truly.

...Milk bars are my best friend <3

Cold Static

2008-11-21T02:27:00.002+11:00

There's no explanation that I can offer to compensate for what I did. I dont' want to think about it either. I want to avoid it so I can stop thinking about it... stop playing things over and over again like a screwed up tape or this overwhelming cloud of self pity. It disgusts me.

There an empty apology in there somewhere. One I can't bring myself to say because of an issue of pride. A crap mentality that leads me on to piss off people around me. ~ behold you have PMS. Maybe I am just running out of things to blame... yeah...seems like something dumb I'd do.

So many times I'd let it get out of control before retreating. You wonder why people would stay when you try your hardest to beat them away with a stick. Who'd be stupid enough to stay?

=( still... it hurts to watch them close the door. Like so many fucking times before.. you'd think I'd learn something from watching it repeatedly.

The stupid never learns.

Like a Polar Bear in my Fridge

2008-11-14T10:23:00.002+11:00

As I lack all mathematics talents whatsoever after I stopped doing Spesh (lol) after year 12... this picture speak 5000 words =D

Friday is finally here. I could say today is my last exam, but I still have philosophy on Monday - highly gay because I don't even like that subject in the first place. It looked well and good at first, just like finding a polar bear in your fridge, but when the white furry thing is ripping apart your face trying to dig out your brains, you realise, it's not so grand after all. ~ that is one long sentence.

As for my life? Sometimes I just have to be reminded about what I miss the most. I am very prone to forgetting what is dear to me why it's dear. Maybe I believe I can live without them again... which is a lie. Otherwise I won't be so miserable in these few weeks where the whole storm is blowing over.

Now, I am lagging behind because my patch of sky is still content with hailing exam papers on the sacred forest of my non-heart. So... my life can also be described as a log.

See...it's made up of curls of poo brown paper which represents the layers and layers of exam papers whimsically curling around my life. In other words, my life is like a toilet, which is symbolised by the faecal coloured wraps of "bark" on that log.

But~ we all know that log is going to grow branches. Where that tiny bit of green resides, is my freedom. I am just patiently waiting for my branch to grow. To taste that wayward freedom and to enjoy another's company without worrying about getting pelted with death the next day in the Exhibition Building.

...on that note. I fell asleep at 9 from EXHAUSTION last night... Where to study? =/

Up a Shit Creek without a Paddle

2008-11-09T23:49:00.002+11:00

I need something high to take my mind off this life...

So I heard from a fairy taking a dump in a public toilet, that ... freaks like to dance around this time of the night. I guess that fairy is right. =] I'm back~ the happier and more hyper me.

Lately I noticed that I've been talking a little emo (few scribbles of "oh woe is me"). A little heavy (perhaps I've gained a little weight). A little solemn (not as fun any more). A little repetitive (just a little). Well relax, the exams are here...all the emo has gathered.

Just give me 24 hours before I scream panic. Really I haven't studied... few things taking up my life. Stuff that likes to go om nom nom and well things that have a large appetite for quiche... You have no idea what I am talking about yeah? ..Good, cause neither do I.

All I know the exams are here in 24 hours and I am more panicked than ever because... it's always worse before it's here. I can't wait til it's over.

What I need afterwards...is a large, huge, monstrous, some other word for big party where I can just go nuts and forget it all. Because not long afterwards I am getting shipped off to China. Fun eh?

It's always bad tho because 4 exams are in the way. 9 hours of my life trapped in a building with so many other people. I wonder how far I'd get? I just want to pass...forget those other things. Life's been unbalanced since the start. Oh well... Aaaaaaaaaah hurry and pass =(

...yeah so much for wit O.o

Milk and Toast

2008-11-05T04:11:00.002+11:00

So often I wonder if there was a way to go backwards in life. But if there really was, I doubt there would be sadness in this world. Such an existence where we can rewrite the bad things... would make life quite stale.

Lately I've been wondering about myself. My past actions planted a seed which blossomed into something that I can't quite place my finger on. It has changed me... both for the better and for the worse. There was a moment where I was very lost and wondered where should I go to hide myself.

A sense of shame, hurt, regret and incompetence. Like I've let someone dear to me down... I guess I have in a way. Still, as I shed my tears of self mourning, I learnt a valuable lesson. The past can't be unwritten and I have to accept myself for others to accept a twisted soul like me. I was deathly afraid of losing what I had because of what I'd done.

Judgement. What a scary word. And for the likes of me...who knows what kind of a sentence I'd attract.

My salvation was probably my honesty. Some might just call it tactless like me. I'm sorry for hurting you... I've done it few times by accident now. I figured I should grow up a little... still for a charmless person like me, I delusional-ly think you have some sort of affinity for my childishness.

I learnt not to doubt you or the things you say. Despite how often you say them I know you are a sincere person and you mean it each time. For that, I really want to thank you. Yes... I do need more confidence ^^" but I still cherish it every time you express your feelings.

Sometimes I think you are overkilling me a little since I am realllllly not that great. But I am still very happy to be the perfection you seek. (though I am about as appealing as a two year old sock)

Confidence?

...that's a story for another day

For now... I owe my thanks to the architect that is going to help shape my future. =]

Sincerely.. thanks.

Like frosting on hot glass

2008-10-29T20:15:00.002+11:00

What kind of pain are you facing?

Would there be a single shred of kindness if I spoke my mind? Another fold of events to propel the situation towards another empty victory. Funny I might have gloated a few months back, but now, it’s all over.

There used to be a time when I was vengeful, hateful, desireless, and bitter – maybe even a sceptic. Life was the ugly little game we called reality and I was another pawn in someone else’s game. A little corner of someone else’s life. I was greedy, power hungry and insecure, fed by my own short sightedness, never blaming myself for the faults.

Easily put, I wanted to sit on a throne all day long and forget about the rest of the world. There was me and me only. I was the gravity and I was the world. From there I watched another force slowly pulling apart my kingdom. The green beast reared its head pretty easily.

You don’t lose that kind of attachment so quickly, deserted or not.

Possessive.

Territorial.

Primal.

– Even ghost towns have a ruler.

When I walked away from it all I wondered what I had gained but an half empty sack of experience. It doesn’t make me wise beyond my years because I am still naïve enough to fall for it a second time.

When you see it enough, hear it enough, watch it enough…it is drilled into your brain. Perhaps you believe there is a happily ever after. Two people made just for each other. The right connection, the right dialogue, the right personality, the right atmosphere, the right enzymes, the right chemicals…the right time.

I don’t know which it lacked, but I suppose I was under my little delusions of the way I perceive someone. It’s true you can’t change a person from what they are, but you can still influence them. Just…the inertia from that isn’t enough to achieve the result you were looking for.

I gave up trying. It wasn’t worth it. Forever is always a lie and you learn not to say those things or ask those questions that are seeking a large amount of commitment. You learn a lot.

Like ~ tears don’t make them as sad as they do you. It’s just emo.

If you try the emotional black mail, it nets you no where except “If you are emo, go write a poem”

If and IF you do write a poem, it’s just trash, put it away or burn it. If you write it in your blood, that’s just unhygienic… other fluids are even worse. Someone else’s blood calls for manslaughter.

Post it on myspace and you are an attention seeker. Post it on facebook and no one would see or give a damn.

C’est la vie?

…so what now?

Suicide…?

If you go that far, it just means you have no life whatsoever. Give your food to a starving hobo and live in the drains from now on, don’t leave when it rains.

I can laugh at it now. It’s different and it’s true I’ve changed. I know who to give the credit to…the person that stumbled into my life. Perhaps a random gift from a kind stranger? Or…they’ve just been internet stalking me since November ~ [joke]

Either way… thanks. Even though I am not a “forever and ever” person, and I can see the ephemeron that is life. The short shiny essence that makes something fleeting but sweet. I suppose if I keep walking next to you, I could call that second an eternity.

Time is just as long as you want to pretend it is. In that moment, that second, I can pretend, it is everlasting perfection, just like a lifetime that can pass in the blink of an eye.

…Or so they say – but they are all hopeless romantics trying to be cool.

In essence…aren’t we all?

Let's just sit and talk...!

2008-10-21T00:35:00.002+11:00

Why yes that is a giant pile of white chocolate. HA..that's a lie, it's a glob of Mayo~~>=]

The topic of the day is the healthy selection of foods available in the supermarkets these days. What can't you find? Actually that is a lie too... here I shall cryptically paste the extract that forms the content of today's focus..

"...behold as we press onwards towards our steadfast task. There shall be no sissy exits such as "Let's just sit and talk..." Sitting and talking is for the weak. We are by no means, weak. Here we are comrades in seeking the Holy Grail of life.

We will not falter as we face the decision of what to do in the face of hardship. The lack of appropriate equipment shall not deter us from the sordid glory that awaits the completion of the task. And that was when you took the lead, gave your hand to the devil while the other busied itself with soothing the spirit.

As you followed the recipe of disaster, we locked eyes and wondered if it was for the better or the worse. Laughter was cautious and amusement covered the taboo of the act. Surely you squeeze the lemons first? No matter, the ingredients were added in a fervent speed, mixed to perfection and warmed by far from gentle hands.

A curious examination of the product induced nothing more than a blush. What was done was done, but you could have at least used a dish or bowel of some sort... stains are hard to remove you know.

So how was your first time at making your own mayo then smearing it all over someone's canvas of skin?...Seriously you should have squeezed the lemons first... "

I'll just leave this here and let you interpret it however you want. The clean up to say the least was not a chore. No lemons were harmed in the production process.

May all lemon trees rejoice. <3

Genius.

They even come in tubes these days XD

All relavent picures taken from the wide hole of the internet and may their copyrighters not sue me off my ass. =]

The Exciting Adventure Known as... Yesterday

2008-10-19T19:27:00.005+11:00

Naturally that is Aidan getting run over by Rohan in the car... no it didn't happen ...Ro just crushed his fingers by winding up the window

I have a rather diversified crowd of friends... I just noticed yesterday ~ this Saturday was perhaps more exciting than the rest. It started with me shirking (? is that even the right word?) off work to play Valhalla Knights 2, only to notice that game is frurstratingly hard from the start without proper preparation.

Ie. Another one of those games that appears deceptively easy at first, until you die about 5 times in a row from the same dungeon and have no gold left to accomplish anything. >> concluding with restarting the game and crying because there is no guides.

At around 9 ish, I was called out for a "date" with Laura, so we trooped off to Shine without Jasmine. She was off having a grand partay somewhere~ and I ended up with Laura shouting me a drink. We camped out at Shine for quite a while, talking about stuff and watching a lot of models strut their stuff back and forth on the catwalk due to the large project screen constantly playing on the fashion channel.

Arthur rocked up with Aidan at around 11-ish. (And I thought girls were bad, but he took 2 hours to get here >>), that was when the real random fun started. Being the randoms that we were, I suggested we go "draining" after Laura left for the Coco Lounge.

No objections?

Arthur drove us to the Chaddy drains and off we went. ... well we nearly drove the car down there. That would have been awesome... but oh well.

The fun lies in the fact that it was pitch black down there. We only had our phones with us...no torches. So basically, with the megre quality shots we took with bad bad flash... here's what we ended up with...well what I ended up with. >> not sure what Aidan got while he took off running with only the camera flash. I was hoping for the creepy movie stuff where there's a figure in one flash and not the next XD might have gotten scared to death tho >>

Your typical gritty tunnel... it wasn't a sewer btw, that would have been awful. Just a storm water drain

Kinda sus looking puddle of rust... where it came from, I don't have a clue >>

I have no idea where this leads off to... Aidan says one didn't have an end even though he walked for 3 hours >>

And the bunch of idiotic teenagers ~~ in a drain... with a shitty camera... Arthur got blinded ^^

Well the story following on from that was we ended up disturbing the peace with Rohan driving. Haha... fantastic ^^ and I think a resident called the cops since he was looking at us all sus with a phone... oh well... naturally we bailed. Ended up getting $12.00 of petrol exactly... -sigh- there are some things in this world that only Rohan can do ^^"

Finally...what night is complete without harrassing a Maccas drive-thru and asking for two burgers without patties and then a patty on its own in its very own box? Plus ice cream...can't forget ice cream.

Should do this most often...maybe even the driving part. But I gathered that's probably illegal =P but I guess that was the idea ^^

Happenstance

2008-10-18T17:55:00.004+11:00

Every so often you stumble upon a realisation about something. Perhaps like a realisation that you’ve lost your direction in life and needs some guidance or that life in this country wasn’t what you expected – ie. It sucks hardcore or you think you’ve started liking people of the same sex, perhaps even worse…inanimate objects or you noticed you wrote a very unholy sentence that is rather too long in length to be grammatically correct but you don’t care and keep going anyway despite what the Nazis of grammar would like to say.

Either way, you start noticing things about life sooner or later, it is when you do that you want to ask yourself… so just how the hell did I end up here?

Often I ponder where did the short, scrawny little girl who had no concept of authority disappeared to in my life. Since when did this little punk that like to kick, punch, scream and even bite if she was on the losing side vanish and I became me? A boring uni going kid with red hair, who likes to wear black giraffe earrings? … Though lately I noticed, I’ve moved onto fruit.

Still there is the process through which I changed. From primary school then to high school and now at uni. I wonder if I would dislike the brat I was back then, or the me back in the past would think the person I am now is a weird perverted man dressed in a pickle suit pretending to be a panda on a gum tree?
Who knows yeah?

Despite the hazy pattern of growth, mum told me I am very silent these days. I told her there was no need to talk, often you realise people are big idiots when the open their mouths. Or simply, I just had nothing to say. It’s more fun watching anyway. You notice more, and I am by far, not an observant person.

It isn’t hard to see that most of my interests have promoted me to be a rather introverted person. From the accidental discovery of reading, to writing shitty fiction, to watching anime and then proceeding to build a little house in my head because the reality of surviving high school as an Asian kid became too much. Needless to say, my social life was rather crippled by my family… they even banned me from sleepovers and most shindigs where the next most exciting thing they like to talk about at school happens.

Still I drifted by. I didn’t know if there was a goal in my life then, or a passion of any sort. Music definitely wasn’t it. I had ears, but they preferred to listen. After 2 failed attempts at picking up the piano, my family finally concluded my musical education should just be put on halt. So I ended up doing the thing I loved the most, drawing. They believed I had talent, I believed it was the god given thing I can do well without having to practise 2 hours every day just so I can draw a pretty line.

Besides there were people at art that were awesome. Fridays were the best days back then. Those 2 hours spent joking and probably bullying my cousin. Whichever demanded more attention.

The rest of my school life was filed up with studying and being Asian. Well whatever my family deems as acceptable. Naturally they wanted the whole high grades and only high grades thing. I seem to have on and off years, but they thought that coming out on top between 60 people is never a hard thing. Maybe being Dux was the only way for them to relax and believe I won’t fail year 12.

Still I don’t have a purpose in life, and look where year 12 landed me… a gaming addict who is/was 2 steps away from notorious fangirling of Square Enix characters from the Final Fantasy series. Wait, that’s a lie…I did do my share of fangirling at school… >> Vincent squeeee much?

Well one or the other. Life is life. Accidents happen, but we were probably adorably cute accidents anyway ~

I envy those people that can just answer "What is my purpose in life?" rather easily with "To live” so nonchalantly.

...because, to this day, I still don't know what living entails. I don't think I ever will, but I guess you don't need a direction to be "you" when you live in such a fortunate country where freedom is the essence of life. This makes me one happy "accident". =]

Puddles

2008-10-10T23:18:00.003+11:00

Too much stuff happened today, I think I might just say it was a fantastic day? I got forced by my mother to go get my L's - somehow managed to pass that and I am now an appropriate member accepted by society~ hurray for that?
That aside, I finally managed to go satisfy my strange desire for those sour gummy coke bottle thingies. Amazingly descriptive I must say I am and while I poked around Coles, I bought my 5 cans of tuna. =] It sure makes a lot of sense.

Also managed to get a few other things done... but I guess I won't go into the long tedious details =P

This thing here is an amazing chocolate play button. Well that's a lie... I had another one today. Funny how I use to hate chocolate, now I seem to appreciate it so much more. Just like a few other things in life that I've come to appreciate...certain company and quiche.

Albeit eating pie isn't suppose to make you tired... no, I am not cryptic at all.

Anyhoo~ if you are stalking this ever again, thanks for the chocolate. Hope you win VCE cause I can buy legal booze now YAYA~ again total lack of connection.

Now~ onto the main contention of this, fact is I dyed my hair again. I was rather disappointed with that shade of red last time that was too weak to show through my emo black hair, so I went and got another brand. The smouldering red ended up looking like ketchup which my mother spent half an hour pouring and mashing into my hair.

30 mins later I was in the shower... my god. Was it fun to red hair dye. Nothing is quite like the feeling of standing in your very own puddle of blood. See below...

No harm done, I wasn't puking emo into the drainage system. But it seriously did look amusing... the shower cubicle could have passed for a homicide crime scene. =] white tiles against this ketchupy smouldering red totally made my day..

.. maybe I'm just easily amused.

Ugh, I need proper entertainment desperately.

Confessions from the Spleen

2008-10-05T23:43:00.002+11:00

Yes I admit I am definitely lazy, this has got to be the first post in... well I must say a while. Nothing much has changed in life, cept I guess, a more happy and fulfilling life? Who am I kidding..that's such a lie. As if I'd live fulfillingly ^^"

Few minor changes... I've start Dota-ing. It has turned into an unholy addiction. Guess it's just me being a pest, because I hate been sucky at things.
Aside from that I live a normal life. Stopped karate tho... =/

Though I have noticed, as something competely random and not related...there are really awesome flowers in my garden. .. I wouldn't know tho, since I an inside creature. Yes, I my complexion may agree with the sun, but I rather go and grow shrooms in a cupboard.

Today is undeniably the last day of my holidays. Just to make it worse I even lost an hour to daylight savings. It still hasn't stopped amazing how much work I can get done when I concentrate... O.o that probably also means that I never use my brain these days. Shame..

Ah well ~ the joys of uni tomorrow. FAAANTASTIC. =] -cue sarcasm-

Imagination is the ...not key

2008-09-17T00:19:00.001+10:00

It's never came true just because you believed... it won't now.

Gohan = rice?

2008-09-13T12:44:00.002+10:00

It's been a while hasn't it? A rather surprising break from my normal everyday blog post. I must say I've been a bit too busy as of late. Too much work and somewhat frequent slices of drama.

The first lot of uni assignments has just gone in for assessment, and now the second wave has already piled up. I am eagerly looking forward to that two week break. I definitely need some time.

It has also occurred to me that I am rather paranoid about spending time alone. Normally I would have jumped at the chance for solitude yet now, I seem to have some weird issues with myself when I am alone. A mild, constricting sense of panic.

Finally it got the better of me last night. The dark wasn't scary, but the unwavering feeling of dread and helplessness was definitely not my own. Sleep was out of question, though rested, I don't feel like I slept at all. It was akin to the fabled night terror, but last night I woke up crying and sobbing instead of scared.

I have no recounts of what happened next, since I was so exhausted I just slept on without bothering to wipe my eyes. Very very strange events I dare say. I wonder what's happening?

To make life slightly more exciting, I am going to test it today since it's awfully late. =( I'll probably come back on with the result later... -____- for once a negative seemed like all that I hope for.

Ickly Pickly ...carrots?

2008-08-27T22:48:00.002+10:00

Certain things you never find no matter how hard you look, yet sometimes you find them in the most unexpected places, just like lost change. (They never appear when you need them for that stupid ticket for the train.)

But I am not here to rant about lost change and their gayness... well their not so relevant sexual orientation.

Back to the things that never appear when you want them to. Feelings are just the same. No matter how hard you force and lie to yourself about something, the illusion would dispel sometime leaving you with a feverish reality. Yet when you find what you are looking for, the reality is the most wonderful snapshot of life you can ever achieve.

Naturally such a feat requires giving up yourself in return...such a surrender leaves you completely vulnerable. Perhaps that was the source of my own defensiveness. The lack of desire to give myself up to anyone or anything. Still I fall ever so slowly, if not quickly in other regards. Now we face the music in this state where there's a mutual nakedness in thought and sentiments.

Perhaps it'd give a justification to say "I trust you with my life". Yet they are just words to me. I don't trust myself with my own life, let alone another.

Mmm this sleepiness is getting to me.

...yeah I noticed this has nothing to do with carrots. ^^ or pickles. Sorry guys XD