G r a v i t y

There was meant to be something meaningful here... but I kinda forgot. So here comes a lousy shot of trying for a remake.

...

GG no remakes. ):

Guess I could try and figure out what I meant when I post a title called 'gravity'. Some sort of force? It's rather bizarre to try and blog about a day that you don't have much of a recollection of. 29th of April.

WHAT THE HELL DID I DO? I think my memory is slipping pretty bad lately. 3:

Might put this one on hold...

Lacuna.

There's been...

IT'S SO CUTE!

... a large portion of time spent sleeping, sadly more than the amount of time we spent holding hands. Other silvers of time are spent wisely on talking, connecting and trolling. Naturally we take some of the trolling too far, but it ok... that's how we learn.

We shared a history that went and become a herstory and finally it came back and now it's mystory because it's my blog, although really it should be ourstory because we are finally together. (I'm definitely spamming the italics)

It definitely hasn't been easy and one shouldn't expect it to. Nothing in life ever works out like a fairytale romance without all the painful retaking of each scene. Although to work out our differences and learn to understand each other was by far the most rewarding thing.

I'm so happy to move on from yesterday. Even though we had another weird discussion about something awkwardly arbitrary, I feel closer to you. I'm delighted that you are you, even if neither of us started off with a clean slate, I'm still lucky that I'm in love you with and no one else.

It's comforting to know that we are finally slipping into the right rhythm in order to live harmoniously. I don't ever want to let go of you, even if life troubles keep coming up. We'll just run through them together because if we can be together, nothing else is impossible. :)



..There's a place that you touched that makes me want to be with you forever.

~ My heart. :3 what were you thinking?

You obviously can't read.

What I wanted to say yesterday, was that somehow you've become the most charming thing in my life... Something I want to spend time with constantly, which at times gives birth to irrational feelings when not satisfied.

I am not unhappy. I do not want to break up. What makes me unhappy and sad is the fact you bring that up so easily and throw the notion around like fruit.

I do not want to let go and be detached again, walking around like strangers that just met. I am in love with you and I want to be with you. Even though it might be a bit late and the damage already done... I want you to know I feel very connected to you. To deny that attachment is to deny our existence.

You may question this a thousand times, then do it. It is your nature anyway. I just ask that you don't force me into a corner to get me to speak and then joke when I finally want to talk. That hurts more than anything else.

If it isn't clear enough, I want to be with you because you are the sole existence in my life that can make me experience such vivid emotions. Be it pain or just the euphoria of being near you. I don't want to give any of that up...

Unholy unhealthy unanananananana

I feel mildly pathetic, having to explain myself with another wall of text. It would seem when I need it the most, my vocal chords would malfunction and I can't quite get the right words out or keep the lacing of annoyance away from my tone.

No doubt I crossed another invisible line, and pushed more than a few buttons. You'd say I'm a despicable spoilt brat not used to being opposed in what I desire. But that is life, if I needed someone to tend to my every need, then I might as well have bonded to a servant.

It's just a mild case of addiction. A bit too much freedom on my behalf and countless thoughts of you that seems to slip into the empty bubbles of time where studies used to be. I don't even understand this bizarre urge I get to seek your company constantly.

I don't want to be so obsessive and feel a strange void when you aren't around. It'd be explainable when the void kicks in after a few days of no contact, but it's just odd for it to be there the very next day, or even after a few hours.

It's ever so confusing and I digress it's messing with my thoughts and judgement, effectively removing all semblances of logical thoughts and actions or traces of empathy. I feel so bland again 3:

...Not because I think you don't love me, but probably because I hate what I do but find it hard to control my actions. I wonder what I mean to you sometimes, since I'm like some random asteroid that just landed chaotically into your life. Under all the countless teasing and banter... is that love?

Are you like me and feel the need to dress up ever positive statement you want to make? Do you feel naked when you just come out and say it?

I feel so weird... sitting here looking at msn, holding onto the hope that you'd reply before I sleep again, even though clearly I let it all go on the phone. You waited and it's my bad for making that wait not worthwhile.

It's so confusing for me... emotions. And now it's melting into a puddle of possessive sentiments, which I greatly dislike. ): ...is usually leads to you saying "whatever" a lot.

I hate "whatever"s and try not to say it as a single worded reply these days. Someone in the past told me that when I used to "whatever" a lot it felt like I didn't care. It's very true... it does feel like that.

When you stop caring... what else is there left for me?

Letter letter letter.. where art thou?