I do NOT have paws

Epic late picture...

Poetry poetry poetry~ something artistic and deserving to be compared to you. But I have none... cept my own jumble of clumsy words. I think... I believe... I wish... I guess. Never certain.

OK serious post begins here ..not really.

I am not a nice person. I have bad habits. Lots of them. I'm also obnoxiously self centred. See, talking about myself all this time already. Other stuff ranges from not cleaning up after myself to being absolutely vague about everything I say. Perhaps I like escaping responsibility.

But you called it the Trench Theorem. I never want to be the first to come out of safety. I never wanted to be sure of anything until the other person gives me the upper hand by telling they are sure. Then I have to go and be an epic troll and question everything they say for weeks.

Lvl. 73 Troll.

But then. I can also be what you want. I can be your dreams, your happiness and your future. I am the strangest person you've ever met. I do eccentric stuff that is thoughtless and abnormal. I am weird. And that's why you like me.

I am happy when I am with you because you can see past all those strange things and still find appreciation in me. Which is why I want to be certain with you, I want you to know that I want to be with you and you only.You make me smile like no other person can.

It feels natural that I want to see you often and feel really elated when I do. It feels familiar when you have your arms around me, hugging me. Even though I buckle under pressure easily, your voice is always soothing me with reason. You are right.

We did wait very long for this to happen, I won't ever let go of your hand, not when you smile at me all the time with sincerity. I will not let myself forget each time you tell me you love me, care for me, cherish me or think I'm the most epic and at the same time illegal but not illegal thing in your life.

There's been a great distance between the time when we were both emos lamenting about our lives to each other, to all the sparse moments we've had to connect. Now that I can finally stay on the same step of life with you, I don't want to be anywhere else. ... Like hell I'd want to leave when I'm sitting in the throne of your life. [:<

...Besides, we still haven't finished unlocking all the achievements together either.

:D

FAILGASMS~ 2.

Fly fly away

This tribute is neither for you or me...

I know what you have been doing.
*

These words here are no longer for you. It is for whoever still finds an interest in me. I won't let this blog die because for me it is still a beautiful place full of memories. But I also want them to find the truth behind everything.

You have been lying to me when you say that you have told people everything. You never told people anything. All you have done is turn yourself into a victim, and me into the demon in your life that drive you towards your own demise. Let me say this clearly now with all honesty and clarity.

You are your own demise. You smile away all help then go back to digging your own grave. I no longer care what sort of stories you like feeding to whoever listens. The point is, I am me. I know what I have done and what I haven't done. There is a part of me that remains innocent out of all this despite all the wrongs I have inccured and that is I didn't leave you straight for another person.

I left you because you didn't show me the care and consideration I needed in a healthy relationship. You objectified me and lied to me. Claiming you love me when all you wanted was to feed your own carnal pleasure. You burnt with jealousy whenever I get close to someone of the opposite gender. You planted all your emotions on me hoping I'd carry you through life. I am not your babysitter.

You cared for me. But only in a simplistic way. Playing games, keeping me company. You never cared enough to fix what was driving us apart. The misunderstanding, the increasing miscommunication and the fact I wasn't happy with you. All you wanted me to do was change but you didn't help me change. There was no reward for changing since you just wanted more.

You suffocated me. And that is the reason why I left. I couldn't see a future with you.

If you can't be honest with yourself to tell your story with straight facts then I have misjudged you even more. I don't feel the need to go correct whatever you have said now. I'm moving on from it. You can infect whoever else you want with your animosity.

It is no longer my problem. I know there are people that know the truth behind everything. As long as there is that knowledge I'm happy. I do not see the need to contact you either. Your "love" only extended as far as surface infatuation and possession, and now it's like a dark revenge.

So please, don't keep selling your two face shit to everyone and then come back to me and try to be my friend. I hate that immensely. Please do remember that I am not as lonely as you think I am. I joined your life so I can share it with you. Even if you turn your whole world against me.I still have my own world to return to.

Wordlessly

:3

There is so much I want to say, so much I need to say but I just can't find the right words and no sound comes out. Life's so confusing sometimes...things fluctuating up and down.

Yesterday was like taking another step towards something I don't think about. A 2 in front of my age. 2 candles on a cake. Awkwardly I survived 2 decades without much of a scratch on the surface.

I don't know if i know any better... but all I know was I was extremely happy. :3 Tired but happy. Kicking myself for dud decisions but happy.

Happy that you are one of the better choices in my life.
Happy that I live with a house of people that loves me.

Love.

It's everywhere.

As for me, I love you all. But...
I love Jono the most.
... =]

:D

I can has employment~~~~ :3