Definitely Asian

Well it's about time I did something new with this blog. Thanks to a stalker's valued opinion, I was being too emo. So what better way to pass my time now than to be cynical? =]

Now the question is... what's this?
It looks awfully like a giant bunch of tumour growing out of a phone. Oh right... it's just an Asian with their phone. That's alright. Forget the fact that when you use that phone you'll be sticking a lump of stuff the size of your head next to your ears or the fact that there are two Spongebob Squarepants attached - either you were stupid enough to buy two or your phone charms are making babies behind your back.

So aside from the usual wtfs... a phone charm is a simple contraption you stick onto your phone to make you more trendy. They come in a variety of forms...


And no it's not just you, I see a cigarette butt and a green toilet with a face on it too. Pity they are a mandatory item to being a true Asian. If you don't have a phone charm then you just don't cut it. Feel free to sob a little and curl up into a ball because the cool Asians won't hang with you due to your lack of phone charms.

You are also welcome to become an obsessive compulsive charm collector that hangs a bunch of haemorrhoids from your phone. Each to their own I guess. No problems right? ... WRONG.

The really annoying part starts here. Imagine you are out and your phone is dead, so you turn to your tb-cough- I mean nice friend to ask to borrow a phone. They spend 10 minutes rummaging through their bag of who knows what, another 10 trying to fight and loosen something, and finally, very triumphantly pulls out their phone along with Naruto, Sasuke, Ichigo, Cloud Strife, Tifa, a Buster Sword, plush Rabbit, a dice, Squall Leonheart, a heart, stars, Shun Lu, Vincent Valentine, Sakura, TEH SATAN, a family of starving weasels, Yasith AND a box of aids ALL ATTACHED TO THEIR PHONE.

Feel free to imagine something a thousand times worse than this.. well the purple one is obviously doingitwrong with the black fingernails and the "CUT HERE" attached to their wrist. Emo =/= Asian.

I sure hope you enjoy using their phone, because I doubt I am much of a fan of having 5kg hanging off the side of my face while I'm talking to my parents to ask for a lift at 3am...which is hard enough as it is. It would also be nice to laugh at them when they are in their 30's and their neck is bent from carrying too much phone charms arounds.

Moral of the story? Use ONE charm if you are tb and get over yourself. Please please please don't do the following because you'll cause humanity to hate you.


No matter how much you love fried rice, it's just stupid to have a spoon of rice attached to your phone. That's more than enough Asian...try attaching Chinatown next.


Will make you no more HaRdKorZ JaPaNeSE than you already are. Food is just weird. Stop it.

Faggotry at its finest... Just in case they run out of teacups at hotpot because too many people go there. I'll carry my own attached to my phone. ~Well I hope you spill your tea all over your new Iphone.

I have no doubts these came from Japan and it's the perfect way to identify yourself as a 50 year old pedophile who's never gotten laid and enjoys watching year 7 girls go about their swimming practice because it's comparable to Naruto Hentai. Honestly...bondage doll phone charms. What. The. Fuck?

Lastly... the most screwed up of them all and for all you suicide lovers out there. Here. Use this. It's so convenient it's attached to your phone. Feel free to disappear into a bathroom and come out with slashed wrists, we promise we'll pretend to care.



...I herd you lyke Mudkipz

Rock bottom

And so I have around 2 and a half hours left until I am a hag. It seems like I've finally hit the rock bottom stages of being 18. Sure it's a nice number and all; lets me buy porn freely, corrupt little boys, steal flowers, stomp on furry little animals and get into clubs. Not that girls buy porn or anything and half of the stuff I listed, I don't even do.

So I guess today and now, would be a nice time to tribute something to this nondescript life of mine. After all, it feels like it's ending.

19 just doesn't seem like that fun of an age right now, I mean after it I'll be 20. What a retarded number. So to be honest and heartfelt right now, like I even have a heart, I'll list all those thing that've crossed this mixed up mind of a little girl.

This whole year, I've been chasing after expectations and I guess a little overly obsessed with proving myself. There's been love, hate, regret and a bucket of clichéd metaphors that are suppose to make me sound ultra artistic, but alas, since I am not, there just isn't.

I've always wondered if I should be clear about my life. After all, I am going towards second year uni and I still have no positive life goals here aside from waking up and feeding myself. Walking to the fridge can also be considered an achievement since I am awfully lazy. I've also gotten tired of NYR because I never seem to keep mine. I guess this year I'll try a little harder to live.

I still don't get what living feels like. This mundane rinse cycle rhythm just doesn't make me feel very real and it gets worse because it's evident that I wasn't trying at all last year. What makes it even more annoying is the fact your parents tend to notice and rub it in. I guess time is running out a little, I can't stay young forever, and like the stupid water that likes to seep out of a leaky bucket, my age is climbing. ~ and I am a little too over serious here.

Sometimes I realise I don't even make sense... Still, I have yet to find a goal for when I am climbing up this hole of life, but I think I want to stay true to myself. I don't want to be something because someone else wanted me to be, and for all the honesty in me, I'd like to become something that I can look at and be proud of.

Finally, I am reaching the end of something, though I am no clearer than when I started, I want to live and I want to live honestly. With my own two hands, I want to change my life and do something in the next 356 days that I can be happy with.

As a tribute to those bittersweet memories of the past, it's true that I've grown a hard heart, and a non loving personality. However, for one person I am willing to melt that snowy heart so I can learn to be more humane.

This all started with some none romantic internet stalking which makes meaningful elaboration hard. YET~ I still want to thank a fork that's been there all along and will hopefully be there in the future to continue... forking? .. Still it was this guy that slapped me across the head when I started fretting about acceptance. Quite simply he answered every teenage girls question to popularity... just be yourself. I am taking this advice to heart...if I had one. Although insignificant and almost tb in nature, it has set me straight in a pool of strange questions.

And now for the self centred list I am going to laugh at in the next Rock Bottom Stage of my life~ hurrah for 25.

1. Is nothing special but also something special in someone's life
2. Has a cat that likes to eat her... clothing
3. Totally sucks at things that boys are good at
4. Wishes pretty hard that she's a boy...sometimes
5. Can draw =] (LIES)
6. Melbourne Commerce whore
7. Antisocial on Wednesdays
8. Is not vegan because she hates plants
9. Knits lol~
10. Loses her way often
11. Habit of listening to songs on repeat if she likes it
12. Shopping makes her tired
13. Spends too much money on food but can't eat much
14. Don't smile enough...
15. Moody ~
16. Thinks all the time
17. Awfully blunt sometimes
18. Sucks at the female mind game business
19. Has a relatively strange history
20. Sleeps on a bunk bed
21. Only child
22. Spoilt by a fork
23. Likes blue things
24. Aging and dying, but aren't we all?

25. Thankful for his existence.

For a non-believe in a lot of things, you've changed my life. Thanks... see you when I am a pedo =)

An Undeniably Awkward Species

Woman. Girl. Feminine.

My thoughts on woman are mixed and a lot more complex than my thoughts on the male species. They make me more wary and tense than their male counterparts would. Although physically not as strong, the female species makes up for their lack of physical stature with their powerful mind games.

Women are all well versed at all forms of emotional blackmail and inflicting pain without words. They know which buttons to press to get whichever reactions they are looking for. They know what to do to get they want, and the scariest part is that their intentions are never made clear til the last moment.

All in all, a complex species that is both beautiful and dangerous.

Personally I am not a fan of women... it's also weird that I am also one.

100 Questions ftw!

1.How old will you be in five years?
x+5 ~

2.Who did you spend at least three hours with yesterday?
Shun

3. How tall are you?
more like how untall I am, 156cm.

4. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks?
absolutely no idea, some kind of exciting surprise

5. What's the last movie you watched?
bride wars because watching bitch fight on a big screen makes you cool =]

6. Who was the last person you called?
Shun

7. Who was the last person to call you?
Shun

8. Who was the last person to text you?
Shun …this is getting repeatitive… O.o

9. Do you prefer to call or text?
Shu—I mean wait. I prefer call, easier. Am a lazy turd

10. Do you have any pets?
I sure do, I have a kitten named Pudding and a closest of virgins

12. Are your parents married?
No shit… they are not.

15. What planet do you like?
Uranus =] for all the obvious reasons of being an Aquarian… oh and others too

16. What are you wearing right now?
short shorts and tank top

17. What is your favorite christmas song?
I hate all Christmas songs equally

18. Where is your favorite place to be?
my room =]

19. Where is your least favorite place to be?
a full train where I am standing in a place with no rails that I can reach

20. Where would you go right now if you could go anywhere?
Alaska

23. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
Ummm ghosties

24. Who was the last person that really made you laugh?
lols the carrot matt =P

25. How many TVs do you have in your house?
3

26. How big is your bed?
Bunk with bottom opened up to a double bed

27. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer?
lappy because they are just what you need to get accepted by society in uni

28. Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
clothes plox

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?
1 for my head and 2 others for decoration

31. What is your favorite season?
autumn, it isn’t bitching hot or unreasonably cold… and there are crunchy leaves to step on

32. What do you like about summer?
beaches =]

33. What do you like about winter?
I’d say Christmas but Australia kinda screws that up, so haha, nothing.

34. What do you like about the fall?
Trees =]

35. What do you like about spring?
People with hay fever that I can laugh at … or offer tissue

36. How many states have you lived in?
2 one in China and now one in Australia…does that even count?

37. How many cities/towns have you lived in?
I don’t know go away!

38. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet?
Bare …feet?

39. Do you like wearing jeans?
Reasonably, but since I’m a girl I am obligated to ask if my ass looks fat each time I try a pair. =P

40. What was the last thing you ate?
Grass jelly. No shit, check it out =]

41. What is your favorite restaurant?
Not the restaurant kind, so I’d just pick one of my friends that can cook =]

42. Longest car trip?
Don’t have a clue, probably the one I puked in. Oh does buses count? If they do prolly the one to Beechworth.

43. What's your favorite kind of ice cream?
Lemon gelato

44. What is your favorite kind of soup?
Lol sif ask me what my favourite soup is… tomato soup I guess…it’s red >=]

45. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich?
ew I hate PB and with jelly is even weirder… still man PB... what do you know about lead?

46. Do you like Chinese food?
Are you kidding? I live off that stuff… literally. So no, I am not fan but it’s for survival =.=

47. Do you like coffee?
No…coffee is yucky… I’m the hot choc kid.

48. How many glasses of water, a day, do you drink on average?
I drink when I feel like it. =/

49. What do you drink in the morning?
I drink …whatever I can find in the fridge, last option being milk

50. Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?
Someone else, it’s always more fun to know if something bizarre happens you don’t have 100% chance of dying unlike when you are alone

51. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?
I sleep in the middle! Take that!

52. Do you know how to play poker?
In between… I guess I know, but I don’t play… so lol wtf?

53. Do you like to cuddle?
Ummm… can I bite you? No? Then I guess not

54. Have you ever been to Canada?
Hahah, no if I did I’d go live with Jaryth

55. Do you have an addictive personality?
Addictive…personality? Only sadists will be addicted to me…

56. Do you eat out or at home more often?
Depends if I am getting fed by Shun or not, but chances are I’d eat at home… I guess his home counts as home too O.o right?

57. What is your favorite cheese?
Brie because it’s squishy fun =D

58. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you?
Apparently Yew Fai’s sister, but he could very well be trolling me

59. Do you want kids?
Ew babies… no offsprings at the moment…kkthanxbai

60. Do you speak any other languages?
Mando and Canto ~ I’m so asian

61. Have you ever gotten stitches?
Nope, never ripped myself open enough =]

62. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
Nope…

63. Do you prefer an ocean or a pool?
Ocean for the free fish

64. Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seat?
Window, otherwise be ready to dodge my puke

65. Do you know how to drive stick?
Hahaha, no

66. What is your favorite thing to spend money on?
I spend money on food…

67. Do you wear any jewelry?
Necklace and earrings.

68. What is your favorite TV show?
Don’t watch TV

69. Can you roll your tongue?
I sure can if I want to choke and die, otherwise I guess not. I’m hella ordinary =(

70. Who is the funniest person you know?
Arthur or Will…

71. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
Not really… they make my bed look less empty =p

72. What is the main ring tone on your phone?
Rofls… The ringing Indian

73. Do you still have clothes from when you were little?
No I donated those.

74. What red object is closest to you right now?
My desk lamp

76. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
Depends if I was lazy with shutting it, usually open for easy ghost ganking access

77. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees?
BEAR! I’VE ALWAYS WANTED A BEAR

78. would you rather fight a chimp or a badger?
Badger… you can just like…stomp on it. I saw too much Welcome to the Jungle to appreciate fights with monkeys

79. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
Umm nothing… I just eat them

81. Can you change the oil on a car?
lols what?

82. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket?
I don’t drive so … no

83. Have you ever run out of gas?
refer to above

84. What is your usual bedtime?
1-2 am

85. What was the last book you read?
A painted House. =]

86. Do you read the newspaper?
Nope~ ignorant bastard child =]

87. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
Nope… ceebs

88. Do you still sleep with the lights?
Does my glowy mouse count?

89. Do you watch soap operas?
Hahahaha… ask any random asian and I am sure most of them would say yes and as you who you think is the hottest Korean dude…

90. Do you dance in the car?
How the hell do you dance in a car?

91. What was the last note you scribbled on a piece of paper?
Shun’s Swinny thingo room number

94. What is your favorite candle scent?
Scented candles make me dizzy… but vanilla is alright

95. What is your favorite board game?
monopoly, am a hardcore money whore

96. How would you describe pop up pirate or buckaroo as a board game?
what in the name of god is that?

97. When was the last time you attended church?
LOLS… umm last year because mum wanted to go …

98. Which one of your friends have you known the longest?
-sigh- if I had friends I’d answer this

99. What is the longest you have ever camped out in a tent?
7 days for school and walking through a desert full of kangaroo poop. FAAAANTASTIC BROKEN HILL!

100. Did you realize you just completed a 100 question survey?
Yeah well let me ask you this, did you notice 13 14 92 93 are missing so it's not really 100?