Except for this blog, because it's too epic for death :3
I guess I learned a lot in the past few days. Like my cat now likes to be bathed and my high school friends enjoy Brazilian waxing and highly recommends it. AHEM~
Either way, the important stuff. Changes.
People don't just change in the blink of an eye. Something has to happen in their life before they can undergo that exciting stage of metamorphosis. It could be traumatic, distressing, excruciating, painful or be at the other extreme where it brings about an euphorically orgasmic sense of happiness. Either way... people change because there's a reason to.
Over the last few days, I am sure you and I both came to a common view point on things. We've both grown from this experience. I can say that now because we are still talking to each other like before. But something is different.
There is a comfortable undercurrent of freedom in it. We do things we like with each other because we both share that pleasure and enjoyment, not because of the obligation of what we are. I have to say it's refreshingly pleasant.
And it is also because of this change, I start to wonder about my attitude towards relationships. Why are people together anyway? The difference between a boyfriend and a friend is merely your exclusive rights to touch and do intimate stuff with them. And probably other self proclaimed entitlements to know every detail of their private life down to what they eat for dinner and how much.
I can't deny that I wasn't overly obsessed like that, but the real reason for it is quite simple. I'm merely scared of loneliness. Blandly, what I probably wanted as a 24 hour friend... someone who is there constantly to give me the company I need. It's probably the ultimate fear for most people when their best friend gets a significant other, and your type of "significant other" suddenly slips a ring in the ladder to their heart.
Suddenly you weren't the partner that stood next to them in everything they do, but instead this other creature that they met at a club or something. If you don't share the same gender as your friend, you'd probably start comparing every asset you have to their new found source of amusement. Tough~ since you don't make out with them you can't capture their attention again because that girl "rightfully" has their attention.
Which in essence is complete bullshit. You just have to learn to share~
It's odd when you start dating your friends for that kind of exclusive ownership. Sometimes I really wonder if that's what I do. I sure hope not, but at the same time, when I think about it it, it's probably similar because I don't believe I am really mentally ready to give myself fully to someone.
I'm just content being friends, since that creepy ownership thing goes both ways. :/
Yeah I've been thinking too much... might refine this thing later.
...
... in the mean time~
If anyone can offer to do my hair like that girl, I'd very happily sell my soul to you, body not included, just soul.
I love you all... really. :3
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