For however long I have to write...

So the story goes... this kid called Shun had to go out for lunch, because you know, there's a beastly thing that just seem to suck all the food out of his fridge leaving him with nothing to eat except nutritious white plastic.

Therefore, driven by the need to feed, he decides to go on a journey to quest for food. Somewhere where he can exchange food for money...wait I mean money for food. And this creature called a Janice decided she'd write for the 30 mins that he is gone, knowing full well that he is capable of loitering for a lot longer than that.

But since she's Janice, she might just cheat, you know?

What easier things to write about but yourself? I am not self centred enough for that yet. So I might as well reflect on something else. I can try and be deep, meaningful, subtle, kind, gentle, eloquent with my words but that might not be me unless I am truthful.

For 30 minutes or more these hands have to continue typing whatever truths comes to mind. (so it becomes a giant epic rant the size of 100 dishcloths). As of right now, no thoughts come to mind, except maybe the lingering bits of a headache that is waiting to flame into existence. I overslept most likely.

I really should be eating, but there's a guest outside and I am too lazy to go change into proper clothes to greet them, so the pie that I have cooked so diligently now sits cold in the microwave. The world sure works in mysterious ways to stop me from feeding. I sound like a vampire.

On the topic of vampires, I've remembered there was a time in my life where I wanted to be an immortal and just watch life pass by around me. Still I realised I'd be destroying lives each time I feed and change another. I hardly think that being disagreeable with sunlight would make many people happy. After all, we are creatures of light and the dark inspires fears in our hearts. At least in mine.

So it was said humans are born only fearing two things, the unknown and loud noises. All our other fears are self acquired. And you wonder why horror films work so well...we are taught to fear.

Why fear though? Life goes the same way for everyone, we continue to grow and gain more experience. There's no end to this cycle until death comes and claims us all. I wonder when I'll go and what method would it be. I don't think I'll fear death... it happens and it is a finale. So I won't have to go through living everyone else's death.

...death? Why am I so morbid today? It's like there's something extremely poetic and enigmatic that I wanted to say, yet I can't get it onto paper. -Sigh- I think I just want food.

And I am not so entranced by the way of living where I play games to pass my days. Sure there's a part that wants to go on an adventure, but those things only happen in movies, glorified by music and flawless acting. Something that a mere mortal can't achieve. Still...who doesn't like that epic feeling of playing a victorious hero, or the aftermaths of their victory, the sweet beckoning of love...and whatever follows.

They always cut out the tedious bits like where they get the money to buy their armour and what made them so hardcore. Those bits are the realities that we see for ourselves. Struggling and toiling around life til we reach a stable state where we can just go through the motions of living. Then going numb...and you wonder why people have no feelings sometimes.

We are after all resilient creatures and as they'd promise, there's a reward after every turn.

This drabble is getting too weird...

So...back to the picture at the top, which was what I originally intended to write about. Love.

It's such a faraway thing to some yet other can roll around in buckets of it. The latter seem to be the luckier kind. I was prowling around the internet today while my beloved was off playing dota and killing people, and I stumbled across the vast plane called myspace.

They used to be a couple that resented so much because it felt like I was robbed of something. I have such dark thoughts sometimes it scares me. I finally gave up those feelings in July, otherwise I think I'd never be free. Yet now, as I look at them, a pair that is torn in two, I felt bad.

They really were cute together. It is sad to see an end to it. Yet there is an end to everything. I wonder when my end is? I hope I never have to witness it with my own eyes. I'd rather poke them out with matches.

They say age is a core factor in these things. Yet I think no matter how old you are, you still learn, make mistakes and see things your way. It doesn't mean that when you are older you are automatically smarter. Some people never learn and others have such a large pride they learn but don't act on their experience. How many more do we have to hurt until we'd finally see the path of destruction we walked through the fields?

I wish never to be that way and if I ever take the wrong path, I hope you'd pull me back before I walk too far away.

It might be childish to say I want to be with you. Now and I'd love to add forever and ever, but I think we've agreed that we are rational people. Talking about the future will only build some dreams that might never be realised. Frustration would be the main feeling if we never had this forever and ever.

Though it'd be nice. At least right now I know it feels right and I need someone like you in my life. I am irrational, strange and highly contradictory. You are the only one that would help one side argue against the other. I am definitely not graceful and I am starting to see that I can be clumsy as hell..

.. I am definitely wearing shoes in the kitchen next time. Butcher knives are scary...

=stop=

and now you are back... I wonder how many words this is?