Milk and Toast

So often I wonder if there was a way to go backwards in life. But if there really was, I doubt there would be sadness in this world. Such an existence where we can rewrite the bad things... would make life quite stale.

Lately I've been wondering about myself. My past actions planted a seed which blossomed into something that I can't quite place my finger on. It has changed me... both for the better and for the worse. There was a moment where I was very lost and wondered where should I go to hide myself.

A sense of shame, hurt, regret and incompetence. Like I've let someone dear to me down... I guess I have in a way. Still, as I shed my tears of self mourning, I learnt a valuable lesson. The past can't be unwritten and I have to accept myself for others to accept a twisted soul like me. I was deathly afraid of losing what I had because of what I'd done.

Judgement. What a scary word. And for the likes of me...who knows what kind of a sentence I'd attract.

My salvation was probably my honesty. Some might just call it tactless like me. I'm sorry for hurting you... I've done it few times by accident now. I figured I should grow up a little... still for a charmless person like me, I delusional-ly think you have some sort of affinity for my childishness.

I learnt not to doubt you or the things you say. Despite how often you say them I know you are a sincere person and you mean it each time. For that, I really want to thank you. Yes... I do need more confidence ^^" but I still cherish it every time you express your feelings.

Sometimes I think you are overkilling me a little since I am realllllly not that great. But I am still very happy to be the perfection you seek. (though I am about as appealing as a two year old sock)

Confidence?

...that's a story for another day

For now... I owe my thanks to the architect that is going to help shape my future. =]

Sincerely.. thanks.