Ickly Pickly ...carrots?

Certain things you never find no matter how hard you look, yet sometimes you find them in the most unexpected places, just like lost change. (They never appear when you need them for that stupid ticket for the train.)

But I am not here to rant about lost change and their gayness... well their not so relevant sexual orientation.

Back to the things that never appear when you want them to. Feelings are just the same. No matter how hard you force and lie to yourself about something, the illusion would dispel sometime leaving you with a feverish reality. Yet when you find what you are looking for, the reality is the most wonderful snapshot of life you can ever achieve.

Naturally such a feat requires giving up yourself in return...such a surrender leaves you completely vulnerable. Perhaps that was the source of my own defensiveness. The lack of desire to give myself up to anyone or anything. Still I fall ever so slowly, if not quickly in other regards. Now we face the music in this state where there's a mutual nakedness in thought and sentiments.

Perhaps it'd give a justification to say "I trust you with my life". Yet they are just words to me. I don't trust myself with my own life, let alone another.

Mmm this sleepiness is getting to me.

...yeah I noticed this has nothing to do with carrots. ^^ or pickles. Sorry guys XD